Finding My Place In Him

 

Now this is not an easy thing to talk about, but it’s what I’ve been learning through Him. 

 

So on my trip, we are a team of 14 girls plus two leaders. Now that is a big team for a World Race team. So being vulnerable, fitting in, and finding a place within the team is a difficult task to do when there 16 of us. 

 

And the finding my place thing, now that has been the hardest thing. 

 

Now I have always had a good sense of identity and knowing who I am in the Lord. And I had no trouble being myself within my team. (Anyone who knows me, knows I have no issue being myself) but since about week two of my trip, I’ve been struggling with finding my place in my team. And I by no means wanted to “fit in” that’s no fun. But I did want to know where my place was and what I contributed as a teammate to my team of sisters. 

 

So now fast forward to just last week at a World Race conference called the Awakening, that I was ever so privileged to attend. All it was, was four different World Race squads, which equals out to about 150 people or so. Anyway, it was all lead by the racers and we just learned from each other and worshipped together for three straight days. So obviously, in that, I had a lot of time to pray and hear from the Lord. So during that time I really pressed in and was basically begging him to show me what and where my place was in my team. I was getting desperate. Feeling lost. A little discouraged too. 

 

After the three days of really pressing into Him, I felt nothing, heard nothing. So it’s the last night there and I felt like I needed to ask the main women who spoke at the conference (her name was Karen) SHOUT OUT TO KAREN FOR BEING THE COOLEST PERSON EVER!!! 

 

Anyway, I walk over to Karen and tell her my situation and she starts to give me some advice that I had already been doing…. haha! So she said I was very mature for already thinking of and doing what she suggested. She then proceeds to pray for me and I cry for second; and I begin to feel better about the whole situation. 

 

The next morning we have our very last worship session before all the squads leave for their next countries. During worship one of the racers come on stage and share what they were feeling from God. They talked about how God is our one true king, and kings deserve to be bowed down to. So we all knelt down in worship. During that I felt from God that I should just lay down on my face… I was like ummm weird… okay… let’s do it. So I lay down on the coldest tile in existence and immediately begin to feel Holy Spirit all over my body. I could feel his hands on my back and it was very hot! I just felt his presence all over me. In my facedown worship I kept up my question of where my place was on my team. I’m just laying there silently begging Him to give me something, say anything! And all of a sudden I hear his voice louder than the music blasting in the speakers around me. And he just says with all his wonderful God sass, “Zoe, your place is in me!” And I just laid there like “oh… right” and he said it again. “Zoe, your place is in me! Just be in me” and at that moment I just laid there and cried. That was such a huge breakthrough moment for me! 

 

So ALL that to say, is guys, your place is in Him! IN HIM!! Not next to Him, not in front of him, not behind him, IN HIM!! And don’t try to FIT in anywhere, because you won’t. I don’t care how hard you try, you won’t. And you can find your place within groups of people, but you have to find your place in Him first. And he wants you to! Because it’s great in here! And I can’t wait for you to join me!