It’s been awhile since my last blog, and 2 weeks since my last day of my first year of teaching. But here I sit in small town, South Dakota, with some free time on my hands and wanted to jot down some thoughts and reflections on my first year of teaching and what that has taught me about myself and the next season.
I’ve known that I wanted to teach for a long time. As a kid, I loved school and learning. You could always find me with a book and I was the student who sat quietly and listened to everything the teacher had to say. As I entered high school, I had the opportunity to work in various forms with students with special needs and I fell in love with it and knew that was the area of education I wanted to go into.
I received a job offer before I graduated college, and although it wasn’t my ideal placement, I was excited to jump into the classroom and see what the Lord had in store for me. We spent a lot of time in college seeing what life in the classroom was like and talking about what to prepare for. I was prepared for the large amounts of paperwork. I was prepared to help students who often struggle with school. I was prepared for the long hours. I was prepared for the tough days. I was prepared for some laughs and some fun. I was prepared for the fact that no day would be the same.
I was not prepared for the amount of second guessing and self-doubt that come along with the first year of teaching. I was not prepared for the exhaustion after a day of running a classroom. I was not prepared for the different opportunities and classrooms my first year would actually entail.
I was not prepared for exactly how much laughter and fun would be had. I was not prepared for the sweet innocence and encouraging comments that would come out of nowhere from even the quietest students. I was not prepared for the fact that they would teach me more than I could ever teach them.
The truth is, the first month or so of teaching was a constant mind battle. What am I even doing? How do I be what these kids deserve? What is the best way to teach this lesson/connect with this student?
But, as the month went on, things got easier. I got settled into a routine, got to know the students, and had a more solid footing. I was teaching 4th grade resource and was learning how that looked. I bonded with my students and learned how to make learning more enjoyable for each of them. Then at semester, I changed classrooms. I moved buildings and programs to teach a self-contained class. That started the cycle all over again-this time much faster and easier. I knew how to fight the mind battles and had a better idea of how to set up and run a classroom.
Two distinctly different classrooms my first year of teaching was not in my plan. It was not on my radar of expectations, but ended up being a huge blessing. You see, I had little experience in a resource setting before taking that position, so I was able to gain that experience and to really learn a lot from those students. My second classroom was actually the setting that I had more experience in and was more comfortable in. I have a huge passion and heart for those programs. But, had I started there, I would have missed out on a lot of lessons and preparations in my teaching, as well as personally. I had the privilege of teaching, getting to know, loving, and being taught and loved by twice as many students. God definitely had a plan and I find it funny sometimes to look back and see how that all took form.
I teach the academics, and my goal is to help the students connect with that, make progress, and enjoy learning along the way. But in all honesty, I don’t care about the academics. I want to teach my students to be kind. To work hard. To care for other people. To do their best. To continue to learn, even when things get hard. To believe in themselves. To know what they need and how they best learn. To reach for the stars.
The funny thing is….it’s those lessons that they most often taught me. I tend to be a perfectionist and really hard on myself. In teaching and interacting with my students, I’ve continued to learn that it’s okay not to be perfect. That some days, just showing up and doing your best is enough. They don’t care if I teach a lesson perfectly and hit all of my plans. They do care that I show up, that I do my best, and that I show them that I care. To continue to work hard and to strive to be better, but that “perfect” isn’t always the answer. They have taught me and allowed me to laugh at the smallest things and to be joyful. The way they care for each other and offer the most innocent of encouragements or hugs offered the pick me ups at the right moments. They call me teacher, but that role was often reversed.
The truth about teaching is that it is ridiculously hard. The days are long and the tough days can be really discouraging. There are days when you don’t know how to get through to a kid.
But the truth about teaching that it is also incredibly rewarding and worth every long hour, tear shed, or lunch break skipped. Seeing a student “get it”, hearing the encouraging words, and watching a student take what they’ve learned and proudly share it is what it’s all about.
I can now reflect on my first year, and don’t know what the next years will hold-but I can say that I look forward to them with anticipation and a humble heart. I look forward to the ways that these lessons and experiences will play out on the World Race and in my future career. I have learned a lot, but there is a lot more to learn. I will be walking into a new program and classroom next year, but these lessons and students will very much be a part of who I become as a teacher.
Lord, you are faithful and good. I can’t wait to see what adventures you have in store and the lessons you have to teach me as I continue to say “yes” to your callings.
*I am just over the amount needed for my first deadline of $5,000! Thank you! My next deadline is $10,000 by December! Keep an eye out for some new ways to join my support team! :)*
