First missionary trip. First time out of the country. Belize is the country that will always have a special place in my heart:
The first week I didn’t feel like I was out of the country. It wasn’t until I was sitting on the rooftop of our hotel at night gazing out into San Ignacio, Belize that my teammate Samuel said something profound, “It won’t feel like you are out of the country until you engage with the culture and the people. You have to trust God that you are safe and that He will open doors for us.” I took what Samuel said and ran with it. I let down my walls and really leaned on God for Him to make this trip one of a kind, and He did just that.
My team was given ATL (Ask The Lord) the whole month. Meaning we aren’t under a ministry host to tell us what we will be doing. We literally have to depend on The Spirit to lead and guide us. God lead me to read the book of Acts the whole month and that literally empowered me and made the Bible come ALIVE! I felt like the black Paul walking through the streets of San Ignacio, Belize. But that mindset didn’t get me too far because I am Rashad…and not the black Paul. I was trying to be someone God didn’t design me to be. I had on this big “I’m a missionary and I am going to save the world” hat on and was finding myself frustrated because I wasn’t “preaching the Gospel” to people like I had envisioned and like some of my teammates were doing. Uh oh!! Did ya’ll catch it? I was trying to walk in everybody else’s shoes besides the one God personally made for ME. One night I had to ask God, “Okay God, I don’t feel like me. What is going on? I am not bringing any one to Christ, I am not healing anyone, I don’t even feel like me.” And I heard a soft whisper tell me, “Son, you aren’t being you. You are focused on everything besides Me.” I reflected on that while dosing off to sleep. It hit me the next morning during my quiet time; I was so focused on the big miracles and trying to save the world, that I wasn’t even focused on being the unique man God created me to be. The young man that just loves to bring joy and laughter to people’s lives while to getting to know their stories. I had thought since I was on a missionary trip that I had to all of a sudden transform into someone I was not. When God exalts you, you don’t you have to change. He exalted you for a reason and not the person you are trying to be. So with this new revelation and understanding, I applied it to my walk and doors started to open.
My team and I would walk into town everyday seeking to hear God’s voice telling us who to speak to and love on. It was amazing to sit back and watch my teammates walk in their own shoes and minister to the people they have a heart for. We developed personal relationships with well over 30 people in the town who consisted all of; homeless people, our church family, workers, drunks, and locals. All of my relationships were developed by personal intimate conversations about their life. After two weeks, I realized that God had me in a season of getting poured into and just listening. Every single person God told me to talk to were older and already had well established relationships with Jesus Christ. I walked away from those relationships having a better understanding on the importance of having a strong foundation with Christ simply through being obedient to Him.
One moment I will never forget is when we were in the local welcome center where the community gathered and this older black lady walked by and sat across the water fountain from us. God kept telling me to get up and talk to her but I ignored His voice an ample amount of times until He gave me clear and concise directions to get up and ask her, “what is the biggest life lesson you have learned that you would like to share with me?” I got up, walked over there and greeted her with a BIG smile (I can’t help BUT to smile now) and she chuckled and proceeded to say, “hello” in her thick Belizean accent. I greeted her back and said, “this may be random but I have a question for you…” she smiled and with an intriguing voice said, “okay what is it?” I then asked the question. She was in deep thought for about 45 seconds and finally replied, “That is a tough question. However, I would have to say as a Christian, the biggest life lesson I would share with anyone walking with God is to be obedient to Him and His Word. Life is so much better when you just obey God.” I teared up at her response due to a couple of reasons. The first reasoning being is that I instantly saw the fruit of being obedient to God when He told me to just walk in the shoes He created for me. This conversation about Christ didn’t stem from me wearing the big missionary hat that I previsiously was trying to wear. It simply stemmed from me being…ME! At that particular moment I felt worthy in God’s eyes because He merely used me for who I am. The second reasoning being, I knew God was speaking through her to tell me the importance of abiding in His word and Him. This conversation went on for about a hour! I felt like I was sitting at the feet on my grandmother and grandfather listening to all of their spiritual and life stories. (Her husband later in our conversation sat down and joined us) I miss Gilda and mister Bill already!
Throughout the month, we were also able to establish a relationship with Life Ministries, a local church. We hosted a youth lock-in where my team and I lead the youth in games and a 10 minute sermon about flesh vs. spirit given by Samuel! It was an eventful night! And what I appreciated the most is the culture the 26 year old pastor created within the two years of him pastoring the church. It was so family oriented and spirit lead. I was able to sit down with him one night at youth night and have a conversation with this young Godly man about his calling. I took so much away from him that night: to depend on the Holy Spirit for everything because He will never lead you astray. And just how powerful The Spirit is. He shared so many stories of God using Him has a vessel to heal people and for miracles just because He was willing and surrendered His life. He ended the conversation by saying, “If you have a calling over your life, God will get you to surrender so you are better off just surrendering yourself!”
One of the divine connections I appreciated the most was through a cop that we met at the local store; his name was Lieutenant Thompson. One of the most humble and powerful man of God that I have ever met. He spoke with so much grace and authority!! One day, he invited us to the local police station. We got an opportunity to speak life and hope into the cell mates that were behind the bars. It reminded me of a jail cell you would see in the show Locked in Abroad. As we were walking out of the police station, my naive self asks Lieutenant Thompson, “Wait…they sleep in there?” He looked at me like I was crazy and nodded his head! There was no toilet or beds!! Just concrete floor and a bucket! There could be up to 6 people in one little cell! Man. But besides that, it was such a blessing to speak a prophetic word over one particular inmate. I will never forget the look of his eyes behind the bars as I told him what God told me to share with him.
Throughout the month I kept saying aloud, “I cant believe I am in Belize.” My teammates got annoyed after awhile lol. But I just found myself in awe of God that I had no choice but to say it. God listens and and answers our prayers. We just have to be bold enough to pray them! The people of Belize imparted so much love and life lessons into my teammates and I that we will forever be impacted. Oh…and I cant forget about the food. The food was BUSSIN!! Bussin; the meaning of something being good in the Black culture. “Rashad tasted the Belizean fryjack and yelled, ‘mhmmm this is bussin!!!”
