Most people who know me know my three greatest fears are heights, water and speaking in public. So when the time came to sign up to preach, I hesitated and didn’t do it at all in Kenya. But in Uganda, I was first on the list.
In Africa, everyone is expected to do it regardless of what fears or apprehensions you might have. They expect you to share how God has been working in your life.
I had no idea what I’d say, until one day I had a dream about something I hadn’t thought about in years. It was a story that my dad, a former preacher, had told countless times during his sermons. It was a story that would embarrass me every time he’d tell it.
It goes like this: one Saturday night my dad and I were watching a game show (Sabado Gigante, anyone?) and I had a dollar bill in my hand that he’d just given me. I was pretty young. It was tradition that I’d get $1 each week. The person who was playing was about to win a huge amount of money when my dad asked me what I’d do if I won a large sum of money. I told him I’d give him half. He then asked me what I’d do if I won a smaller, yet still large amount of money. I said I’d give him half. He then asked me how much I’d give him if I had $1. I looked at the money in my hand, looked up at him, and said that I’d give him nothing.
When I dreamed this, I knew that somehow I had to pay homage to my dad by using it without getting embarrassed, but truly looking at what he could have possibly taught through that story. (I never knew since all I could think about what how embarrassing it was.)
I decided to use it with the story of my life and how I ended up coming on the World Race.
For most of my life I have acted as I did when I was a child and my dad was asking me how much I’d give. I’d say, “Well, God, I don’t really have a lot to offer so I’m not going to give you anything.”
But God is a God who uses what is small to make a huge impact. And he wanted me to give what little I thought I had to make a a lasting impression on the world.
Even last month in Kenya when I questioned what impact I could possibly have when the problems in the slums seemed so big, God pointed me to the verses in the gospels that say the Kingdom of God is like the mustard seed or the yeast that permeates the dough. It starts off small, but it grows into something huge.
I took a look back even farther, to the days when I found myself in the deepest of despair because God hadn’t given me what I wanted and I thought he was angry with me. I was in a hospital when the social worker asked me why I was there and I told him my story of heartbreak, how my fiance didn’t want me anymore, and apparently neither did my God.
The worker, who wasn’t even an employee of a Christian facility, reminded me of the story of the widow who gave two small coins in the offering and Jesus called it greater than those who had deposited large amounts. He asked if I had even a little faith left that I could give God. I told him that I still believe in God, but that was it.
He told me to give that small amount of faith to God and that he’d do great things with it. Shortly after that conversation, I found out about the World Race.
And not even two years later I was sharing about how God took my small offering and decided to use it to send me to Uganda to share my story.
As a result of sharing my story, which included thoughts of suicide, about eight or so people responded saying they wanted to give God what little faith they had. The most powerful prayer I prayed that day was for a woman who just the day before was contemplating suicide and was now crying before her Lord saying she was going to give Him what she had.
The story that had been shared such a long time ago about my unwillingness to give the little I had has changed. I don’t have a lot to offer, but I’m offering it this time around to my Father.
And this time I’m not saying, “Take half of it,” I’m saying, “Take all of it.”
