I think the title speaks for itself. I’m not a preacher. I’m not sure if I was told as a child that men should be the ones preaching in church or if I just believed that based on observation, but for most of my life I’ve believed that men should be the ones leading a church. I remember the first time I went to a church that was pastored by a woman. Truthfully my middle school self, felt super uncomfortable. The World Race, however, has caused me to think deeply about this belief. I’ve sat with the Lord a lot this, I’ve talked about it with people who are both for it and against it, and I’ve done my best to study scripture to see what God’s word says about it.
Truthfully, I still don’t have an exact answer or a perfect theology surrounding women preaching. I read the Bible and I feel fairly confident that the Lord created men to the leaders in both the church and the home, but I also know that the all throughout the Bible we see God using women in incredible ways. I do not believe that just because I’m a woman that the Lord speaks to me any differently or less than He would if I were man. It’s a part of my faith journey that I’m still really praying into, seeking counsel for, and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance and clarity in.
All that to say, these conversations have been going on for the last few months, so in Nepal when I found out our team would be preaching this month I wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it. I talked to my team about it and my team leader, who happens to be both a woman and a youth pastor. My team was understanding and voiced that they didn’t want me to do anything I was uncomfortable with or didn’t believe in, which I am so grateful for.
The month in Nepal continued and by the end of the month, I still wasn’t sure what to do or how exactly I felt about women preaching. We arrived in Rwanda and met up with the pastor and his family. The first Sunday we went to church, a girl on our team preached and while she was preaching, I just felt peace about moving forward and speaking to the church. I don’t know if it was just conformation from the Father that He wanted to speak or if was because the pastor spoke after her and we were not the only ones speaking, but I decided that Sunday that I’d be willing to preach this month in the church we were at.
Fast-forward a few days later and I sat in a coffeeshop completely overwhelmed with life. I knew when I signed up for the World Race that there would be hard days. I knew that it wouldn’t always be easy and there would likely be times when I wanted to give up. I knew coming back to Rwanda would be both challenging and joyous, but truthfully, I wasn’t expecting it to be this hard. I sat in the coffeeshop with my Bible opened and asked the Lord to speak truth and life over the hurts and frustrations I was feeling. He led me to my favorite verse in the Bible, Psalm 126:3 “The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!”
He told me to sit there and remember the great things He’s done for me. He told me to not just remember them but write them down. It’s hard to give up when you see how far the Lord has brought you. It’s hard to be sad when you remember, that the King of Glory calls you His daughter, His beloved. When I remember how the God of the universe loves me with a radical, unconditional, passionate love I cannot help but be filled with joy and hope!
He reminded me of 1 Samuel and how the Israelites had just come out of a season of sin and rebellion and were turning back to the Lord. They burned down their idols, repented of their sins and were making a sacrifice to God in 1 Samuel 7, when their enemy came to attack them. When the Philistines approached them, they were not ready for battle. They were not prepared. But they won the victory, because of the goodness of the Lord. After the battle was won, Samuel took a stone and placed in on the battle ground and called it “Ebenezer” meaning “thus far the Lord has helped us!” Every time the Israelites would see that stone they would be reminded of the goodness of the Lord and how the Lord helped them win the battle and gave them the victory.
I sat there, and the Lord told me to put up Ebenezer’s in my own life. He told me to remind myself of both the good things He has done and the good things He is doing in my life. He wanted me to remind myself of the victories He has already won for me, just as He did for the Israelites, so that I’d be reminded just as He did it before, He will do it again. I set a reminder on my phone, so everyday my phone will buzz at a certain time. I wrote a note and put it in my wallet, so every time I go to pay for something I’ll see it. I made an effort to declare His glory in my own life to myself.
When it came time to prepare my sermon for church, I didn’t have to plan much. I knew exactly what He wanted me to speak about. He wanted to me to talk about the importance of remembering and to get on stage and declare His glory and His goodness in both His word and in my own life. Not only for the people in the room, not only for His church, but for me.
& that’s what I did. I’m not a preacher, but I do have a voice. I’m not a preacher, but the Lord has certainly revealed Himself to me throughout the years in some pretty amazing ways and He’s given me awesome opportunities to declare those revelations on the stage of a church in Rwanda and in my own heart and life.
I may not be a preacher, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to preach and to declare His glory. & I’m grateful that as painful and awkward as it can be to be stretched outside your comfort zone, that He’s been doing it a lot on the world race.
