While at Alabanza a few weeks ago…
e?!” The other version of myself argued to go elsewhere…the name of that place I never understood.
To the Israelites, Egypt was a place of slavery and bondage. It was the life they escaped from to follow Moses through the desert to the Promiseland. While out in the desert they grumbled and complained continuing to wander for 40 years. At times they all desired to return to Egpyt because it was comfortable and consistent in the place they knew. They knew they would be fed and have a home, but in the desert each day was unpredictable and difficult. Of course they desired to return to Egypt, especially not knowing that the Promiseland really existed or what it held. Along the way the Lord continued to provide for them. Things like Manna and Quail kept them believing His Promiseland was really worth the journey.
In my journey from Death to Birth…the Lord is continuing to bring about death. Never did I know that the theme of this journey, Lose Your Life to Find Life, would become such a reality. Recently, I have been overwhelmed with the Kalahari Desert in which I literally reside. In order to be in this desert I have had to leave my Egypt. I began to enjoy that life even more at its closure, but in many ways it was still bondage. That life held good things, but the Lord told me to GO and I wanted to GO. As I am wandering in the desert, I find I desire to return to Egypt or at least to have the blessings of Egypt in the desert. It is extremely difficult to have given up things in which you still desire.
Relating to my former blog…the Lord is obviously still in the death stage of my journey. He is killing desires that are not consistent with what His Promiseland can hold. Confidently I move on to the Lord’s Promiseland. How I desire to know what it tastes, feels, and looks like!
by Sara Groves
I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned
The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
