Don’t Hesitate

These past few weeks something has shifted inside of me and caused me to stop wrestling with God and just be.  

I've been hesitating.  Holding back.  Struggling with wanting the approval of man and fearing that God would redirect me again if I moved forward.  

I've been discovering more about what a real disciple of Jesus, not just a self-proclaimed Christian, truly looks like, and it's been hitting me hard.

I've felt that the Lord called me to Malaysia so long ago and that I'm "stuck" in the middle and can only see as far ahead me as my hand in front of my face.  To say the least I've been pitchin' a fit and being sure to tell God about 'how hard is to be His disciple" and how as soon as I think I'm about to settle in somewhere He rips me up again.

It's not the best attitude to have.

A few weeks ago I was at a friends house for dinner and through some very intentional conversation around the dinner table the Lord showed me what fruit of the Spirit I was lacking most in my life right now.

 

Faithfulness.  

 

I'd actually never really thought about faithfulness as a fruit of the Spirit before.  I mean, I knew it WAS.  I've been singing the song since I was a little kid, but the Holy Spirit convicted me in a way that I hadn't been before.

If I know that my Father has said something and hasn't told me anything differently, then why don't I just be faithful to what He's said?  

 

Just be faithful.

 

The next week I feel the tug to go to a Baptist church that I visited once almost a year ago.  Odd right?  I noticed that they have two services at similar times to the church I attend regularly so I decided I go to the early service at my church and hop over to the Baptist church for their late service.

The sermon was on Luke chapter 14 verses 25 – 35, the section where it talks about the cost of being a disciple.  

 

"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate His father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes even his own life – he cannot be My disciple.  And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple…In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."  Luke 14:26-27, 33 (NIV)

 

What you probably didn't know is that I'd read that chapter in my daily Bible reading just a few days before and actually kept my book mark there because I knew I needed to read that part AGAIN.  So I read it again and then went to a different church and heard an entire sermon on it.  Surprised but NOT surprised!  Jesus, You would!

 

The pastor made 3 points:

1. If you love your family more than Jesus you can't be His disciple.
2. If you don't carry your cross and follow Him, you can't be His disciple.
3. If you haven't counted the cost, you can't be His disciple.

 

Then he ended with a question to us all.

Is following Jesus worth it?

I didn't even have to pause to think about it.  Of course it is.  Something in me was settled in that Baptist church.  It IS worth it.  Jesus is worth everything.

 

So it came down to these 2 things:

Be faithful.

I am worth it.

 

Since this command and truth have begun to take root in the depths of my heart I've found a settledness in the here and now and also about what's to come.

 

I can move forward in confidence, rooted in peace.

 

There is no reason to hesitate when our Father calls to us.