I wasn’t supposed to be there, that wasn’t the plan.
But after long hours, pain, and nothing going the way any of us expected, we figured out that the plan just wasn’t going to work anymore.
The night of August 22, standing in the delivery room with my sister and brother-in-law, I watched my nephew come into the world. In the seconds after I heard his first cry, I came face to face with the reality that my attachment to my own plans almost caused me to miss one of the best moments of my life.
When I had to leave him and my sister a few days later to fulfill my commitment to be a Storyleader for World Race Gap Year, I will be honest in saying that I left in tears. I found myself gripping my steering wheel, asking God “Why now?”. Why did He ask me to do this after one of the most monumental moments of my life?
“Because you’ve just seen with your physical eyes the miracle of how much life can happen in only nine months.”
I suddenly felt myself filled with faith, asking for that the same sense of wonder I felt when Ephram was born to fill my spirit as I pray and prepare to help disciple these 38 amazing racers. I am asking and receiving that same sense of joy I felt that says, “Life is not coincidence, an accident, random. It is divinely designed, appointed, breathed by God.” I’m confident that at the end of these nine months we’re going to see changed people, promises fulfilled, miracles, deliverance, salvation, discipleship, life bursting forth.
One of my favorite quotes has always been, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” —Mark Twain
I am thankful that I was there for the important day Ephram was born. I am thankful for the days that I will be there with those with whom we will encounter, (that have long been born) who will now find out why.
I wasn’t supposed to be here, this wasn’t the plan.
If I was where I had originally planned to be, I would be finishing out a fourteen month lease in Raleigh, NC. But after nine months of being in that apartment, God told me it was time to go.
When I spoke to my landlord, she told me it was going to cost $1700 to break that lease. I cringed, knowing I possessed little more than a fridge full of yogurt. God told me to sign the papers anyway. I did and then I simply prayed in the days that followed, “God, help!”
A few weeks later, as my deadline for the money grew closer and moving day drew near, I cried out again, “THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Lord, help!”
The next day I received a phone call that there was a settlement check waiting for me in the amount of $1900.
The day I moved out, I pulled away and asked God a question I clearly ask often, “Why now?”
“Nine months. That’s the time you needed, you’ll know why later.”
Nine months. I still don’t fully understand what God likes about that allotted amount of time, but I know that He uses it and that miracles happen. I know that He has provided radically in my life for that span of time. I know that He has put me standing in rooms I was never “meant” to be in to show me just how much He can do in those seasons. I know that these amazing 38 people have chosen to dedicate that amount of time to seeing what God is doing in the nations. I know that I am honored to begin this journey with them and to help them tell their stories.
I would love your prayers, support, and to have you follow along the journey by reading my blog! Thanks to all of you who have given such encouragement and offered your love and prayers. I am grateful for you all.
