Church. What does this word make you think of?
A steeple? An old-school robed choir? Sunday School? A loud preacher? Hypocrisy? A bible story felt-board? A congregation of families?
A year ago this is how I thought of church: a place to go to learn more about God. A year later I still agree, but now I feel that church is so much more.
I don’t think I will be in such an intentional community ever again in my life! Having five other people seeing everything I do every moment of every day is often hard, but I am thankful for the growth and refinement that has come from their insight.
I’ve been praying about what church will look like when this crazy journey ends. I pray for a community of people who dig into the word. People who accept me for who I am. Women that will listen and encourage. Men that overflow with joy, integrity, and respect for others. I long to be a part of a church, a group of believers, that spur me closer to the Lord and allow me into their lives as well.
Church is community.
God exists around the world and is moving in the global church! I have never experienced the Lord like I have in Africa, pacing the room after a church service, pleading to the Lord on my behalf for over an hour, as if our faces were inches away. Or like the moments in my tent when He would whisper sweet reminders of who He is. Or like one night in India while I heard Him say over and over again ‘Don’t you know? Don’t you know? Don’t you know?’ reminding me of who He says I am. I’ve never felt His comfort more than when I feel utterly alone, physically and spiritually.
Church is not the main place I experience God. Church is the people I experience God with. Church is what we do outside the Sunday walls. Any group can come together once a week and then scatter, but I want so much more.
Last month was a tough one for a few reasons. It was the first month alone together for my new team. The month before in Honduras, we were with the whole squad and so our team identity was still developing. It was month ten, meaning we have been gone for ages, meaning we missed people, and were sometimes frustrated and tired of one another. And one of the hardest things for me was that my relationship with Liz, who I have been with the whole race, was super strained. I would say all of month nine we weren’t really on speaking terms. So losing my closest friend on my team, and really the race, was tough.
We were tired and most of us spent much time alone, when we weren’t doing ministry. We were far from being the ‘Acts 2 church’ and I doubted we could come out of our funk. After bringing my concern up to the team one night, I was discouraged when I saw no change in the next few days.
‘Didn’t they want to spur one another closer to the Lord? Be iron sharpening iron? Keep fighting for team unity?’
In the middle of the month another group from a church in the states came to do ministry with our contact. The first few days of new people I was frustrated with introductions, small talk, less silence, and less ministry opportunities.
Then noticed how the joy and refreshment they brought began to rub off on us. We opened ourselves up to deep conversations, began to fight for our relationships, and enjoyed new company.
My view of Church forever changed one of the last nights this group was there. We turned on iPod worship, WR style, and invited anyone who wanted to worship with us. My teammates and I spread out across the huge gymnasium as people starred. At first it was just us singing our hearts out and dancing to Hillsong, Jesus Culture, and Bethel (WR classics). Then people hesitantly began to join. This went on for over an hour, people drifting in and joining. After worship the group circled around us and prayed over each member of my team, for perseverance, strength, and joy.
That night there was a shift in our team. What joy and fight we had left in us rose to the surface. Liz and I reconciled. The time we had left on the race was now prized.
That night I was reminded and given hope of what Church is. I don’t want Church, the building where believers gather, I want community that will encourage, refine, and speak truth.
[a little taste of month 10 in Nicaragua!]
