Drinking From a Fire Hydrant
After being out of the World Race bubble for two months now, I admit I have been less disciplined with my blog. I feel as if blogging has took a back seat in my life because of other priorities such as connecting with family, friends, and simply spending time with the LORD.
God has been alive and active in my life and this journey as continued to have its ups and downs. I battle negative thoughts every day and have to come to place of refocusing my identity on the LORD and who He says I am in the midst of the trial and craziness of life.
As many of you know, I have recently accepted a position as the senior high youth director at Charity in Bismarck. This is the same church I interned at before I left on the race just over a year ago. My position is exciting and incredible, yet daunting and overwhelming.
My first day was on August 15th and I realized how much there is to do. As I came in I was loaded with meeting after meeting of whats happening and all that is planned for this year. The only thing I can compare it to is syllabus shock in college- the first day your teacher gives you all your assignments for the semester.
Its like drinking from a fire hydrant. So much information to take and responsibility and the feeling that came over me was I am destined to fail. From a young age I put a lot of my identity in my performance and what others thought of me. If I performed well, people liked me and gave me there support. If I didn’t perform, I felt that people hated me. I can’t tell you the stories of all the times people told me, “you suck” or “your gay” or “your never going to make it.”
Crazy to think that from a young age the lies that have been spoken to me try to creep back in my life in the form of discouragement. Even after healing from these wounds of my past, discouragement still tries to creep in through one circumstance or another. Maybe you have experienced this, maybe you haven’t, but how I deal with it is simply refocusing my identity on the ONE who created me and who HE says I am. By sitting and listening to the voice of the LORD and letting Him speak the truth through Holy Spirit and through the Bible, God does the transforming work of healing.
In the midst of the lies and circumstances of my performance driven life, God continually says to me, “My love for you is not based on your performance”, “What others have told you is not who you are, I determine who you are”, “You are loved and I qualify you”, “I determine your success, not others expectations”, and “I am proud of you.”
I have been released from the expectations of others over the course of the race. Letting go of it may seem impossible for some, but it simply starts with the transforming of our mind.
Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
John 8:32 – “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Truth is how we can heal from the lies and the circumstances of our past. It is how God transforms our minds to understand who HE created us to be and not who the world tells us we are.
So as I started this first week I found myself simply stopping and taking a breath and remembering where my identity is found. I asked for wisdom and felt the LORD showing me patterns of jumping right into doing a bunch of projects and felt him stop me. It was like you could have heard Him say, “NO!” As I sought direction, HE directed me to build relationships with my staff. To sit with them, to ask them questions, to hear their heart. God spoke to my heart very clearly saying, “In order for you to fight for them, you need to know them. And for them to fight for you, they need to know you.” So there it was- it starts with relationship and trust. I have no doubt God will use me to bring people deeper in their faith, but it needs to start with relationship and it needs to start with the people right around me.
I heard it said the other day, “Family is the closest representation we have to what God intended the church to be” and “Marriage is the greatest discipleship tool we can ever have.” No wonder the devil does NOT want families to say together! Family is often the hardest to love because they are the closest to you and you can’t just choose not to be part of a family once your born into it. If you don’t like a church today, you can just leave, jump ship, and never resolve the conflict or address the pain.
Through starting at Charity I realize how much we need to love our families. God has placed specific people around us to love and build up but also challenge to growth. In the midst of feeling the pressure to conform to the modern world culture of doing activities to feel accomplished, I am choosing to renew my mind and simply be with the LORD.
Drinking from a fire hydrant simply shows me I need to slow down so I can grasp all the God has for me in this season!
Answers to previous prayer requests!
Prayer #1: God has been working in my brother Ben’s life in an incredible way. He has decided to take a step of faith to South Carolina this summer to grow in his faith with God with 100 other college students at summer beach project with Campus Outreach. Please pray for his growth as he has a desire to disciple and make an impact on other students. Also, he is support raising $2,000 for this discipleship program. Would you pray that he would be fully funded by the June 10th?
Answer #1: Thank you for praying for this!!! I can’t tell you how I have seen this prayer answered! With in a week of me posting this, Ben was fully funded for his trip! Ben has grown 100 times over since I saw him last summer. He has become rooted and established in his faith and has been walking closely with the Lord all summer. The training project was a way he connected with deeper community and engaging in transformational sessions and evangelism times. God is leading him to pursue a calling in ministry with a focus on film making. I had the privilege of baptizing him in South Carolina and here is a video of it (Sorry if the quality and the sound aren’t that great):
Prayer #2: The end of the Race is coming fast and I am going to have to get back on my feet. Would you pray with me for a vehicle when I get back? And just other things that I need in adjusting back into the United States.
Answer #2: God has provided a vehicle through my parents. I am driving a 1996 Toyota Camry with 362,000 miles on it! Its still going and may just make it long enough before I have enough to get another one. Thankful to have a car that runs and the ability to drive again!
Prayer #3: Safety in China! We are traveling through and can NOT use social media while we are there. So unfortunately my blog will and the main forms of communication will be cut off for a month.
Answer #3: We were safe in China. Nothing really suspicious happened and we were pretty careful even with our language. However, when Holy Spirit said speak we were bold. We saw 7 young women receive Jesus and many other hear the gospel while we were there.
Prayer #4: Continued obedience to the Lord. I believe it is through prayer and obedience that we see God do miracles and I would love to share some of those with you over the next month.
Answer #4: God has been speaking to me step by step and even my brothers blog shows results of that. Check it out at: http://therealhumanheart.blogspot.com/2018/08/interuptable-part-1.html
God continues to challenge me in little ways of obedience whether that is jumping up and down in Walmart or worshiping him with all that I am. Seeking his voice in the moment and being obedient to what He is doing is something I continue to practice.
Prayer #5: Personal growth in finishing this season of the World Race and passing the knowledge and wisdom on to the younger generation through discipleship
Answer #5: I feel like all the way up to the last day, God has continue to challenge me and allow me to grow. I continue to find myself going deeper and deeper in the Lord and getting more visions, dreams, and words for myself and for other people. It is so incredible to see and it makes me on fire for more!
Prayer #6: For logistics to work out and for us to travel around China within our budget and to find the housing and transportation for the right prices.
Answer #6: All logistics worked out including our one craziness of travel day: https://andrewhershey.theworldrace.org/post/the-craziness-of-travel
We made it everywhere we were supposed to go and logistically God answered this prayer in an incredible way even with the budget.
Prayer #7: Prayer for future ministry God is leading me too! As soon as it is official I will explain more, but God is transiting me into a role of discipleship where I will be able to make a long-term impact and still impact the nations!
Answer #7: God has lead me right now to Charity. I will be servicing as the Senior High Director and with it I hope to disciple these students in the importance of the Unreached especially in the 10/40 window. I have a desire to challenge them to take accept a call and a purpose that is on God’s heart for them and related to missions in the unreached areas of the world. God is moving our church to reach the unreached in the back yard through a bus ministry with native American and international kids. There is so much brokenness amidst these families and God is using the people of Charity to reach out. Ministry will continue and I am so blessed to do what I get to do in this next season of my life.
