If you’re not done working, God I’m done waiting!
“The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming”
The more I seek you by Kari jobe
Is not easy to see God in the middle of the struggle or hard times. But this month I have been learning that He is a God of seasons. Sometimes we are in the summer , some others in the fall and sometimes in the winter . But no matter what, he has promised that he will be with us.
That being said …. One month ago I was ready to leave Nepal and dive into a new season and journey in Thailand. But God decided it was not the time for it yet.
Questions come and questions go as I see mostly all of my teammates going through immigration with no problem and 30 days visa in hand. But not me.
As the officer check my passport and take it to another officer in charge ; I start asking God why I’m not with my teammates. Instead I’m like a prisoner abroad on immigration office. Surrounded by some officers that keep telling me I can’t go into Thailand and have to come back to Malaysia.
Even back in Malaysia they said I have to go back to Nepal and not to Malaysia to get my Thailand visa. Also they said there’s a probability they send me back to Costa Rica to apply for the visa and then come back. What?? That’s not possible!
So I started to think maybe that’s my end on the race or I may have to go back to my country and then wait one month there and come back for the next country! Who knows!!! That moment was like never ending for me and felt like there was no way I can enter into Thailand. But even though, my hope keeps going and my mind tries to find ways/options to figure it out. As my options start to dissipate, my heart starts to feel hopeless. My body tired to going back and fourth in less than 2 days through Thailand , Malaysia and Nepal. My soul and mind discouraged. Doubts start coming about if God is just joking, he forgot about me or what a sense of humor you have God. Had to take 2 airplanes to go back to Nepal and be able to apply to my thai visa.
Meanwhile I had to sleep on the airport with limited or null food, water. Hours on the phone trying to talk to some friends, embassies, family trying to figure out . Tired and ready to give up God brought to my mind the song “Do it again”. It says “ Your promise still stands . Great is Your faithfulness. I’m still in your hands. This is my confidence, you’ve never failed me yet. I’VE SEEN YOU MOVE, COME MOVE THE MOUNTAINS. AND I BELIEVE I’LL SEE YOU DO IT AGAIN! YOU MADE A WAY, WHERE THERE’S NO WAY , AND I BELIEVE I’LL SEE YOU DO IT AGAIN!”
And then he brought King of my heart and is so amazing because this video has a spontaneous worship and she says that the only thing bigger and greater than her fear was her conviction. The conviction that God was good and he will be always good no matter what. Boom! God reminded me about his love and grace even in the middle of the storm. So many times He prefers to wound us with his word before this messed up world can wound us with lies.
God wants us to be faithful and do not forget his great faithfulness. Even in the middle of the chaos, even when is hard , even in the winter !
We cannot go from fall straight to the summer, that’s why we have winter. But coldness will start to hurt. Cold hurts, wind hurts, breath hurts. Absence of friends hurt, shortage hurts. Our bodies and hearts are trying to find warmness and refuge. We become more sensible. And as the sun light hides on the winter, a dark cloud seems to hide God.
With no gravity we lose our north.
During the winter everything dies. We have to die too… Even when death sounds like the end, talking about spiritual life it is not.
Was through death that Jesus overcame his enemies. So it’s through death that we ill overcome too. During our winter is when we grow the most. There’s no spiritual growth without winter. Theres not resurrection without death.
Theres no victory without cross.
So my prayer for today is that you can embrace the season you are in, your winter.
And you can sit at his feet, drink from his cup. Lay back against him and breathe, feel his heart beat and melt in his peace.
