It was 6 am on our second day in Thailand. I was upstairs making breakfast when this sweet girl came up the stairs to do her morning chores. I was excited to meet her. “What is your name?” I asked as she looked at me with curiosity, thinking intently on if she wanted to respond to me or not. “My name is Andie” to which she replied, simply and quietly, “Yim.” I met a 9 year old girl named Yim whose favorite food is spaghetti. I remember thinking, “what a sweet girl.” A few days had passed by but , FINALLY Kerry and I would get to teach the youngest girls english! “I’m so excited to spend the month teaching Yim and the other girls!” Kerry and I walk into the girls english class with high expectations of great relationships being made and fun english games. I was quickly reminded of why we shouldn’t have expectations for certain things. All the presumptions I had made about how sweet these girls would be, well- let’s just say I was overly optimistic. 😉
The first week, I walk into english and all 6 of the girls put their heads on their table and ignore me! ALL OF THEM! They pretty much didn’t want to be there and they didn’t want me to be there either. They want to run the classroom. They are clearly over the amount of missionaries coming and going. After class the first week, I was ready to cry- daily. I remember thinking and saying ” I cannot do an entire month of this!” I genuinely thought these girls hated me, all 7 of them! I had to pray for a heart of understanding and honestly- for it to not affect my identity. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m just not used to kids disliking me and it really got to me.
I remember praying to God, “I need you to help me through this!” God met me where I was and He overwhelmed me with a heart of understanding of where these girls were and He showed me that I needed to fight to love them, even when the love doesn’t appear to be returned.
It was the small things through the week…saying “Hi” when the girls were playing outside even though the usual response was crossed arms and a blank face with eyes sliding to glare at me from the corner of their eyes. It was asking to play with them when they were outside playing “Thai baseball” and sitting on the side cheering them on when they ignored me because they didn’t want me to play. It was asking the very next day to play their made up tag game with them, and playing it wrong because they didn’t want to teach me… It was pursuing them the only ways I knew how… meeting them where they were..getting uncomfortable and putting forth effort to show them I really do care.
The next week, we walk into class and the girls were in their seats “Andie!” they yelled as they tapped their hands in the seat next to them. In that moment, all of the uncomfortable moments became worth it. The awkward attempts of conversations and games and mean looks became worth it. There were following days that were challenging, but for the most part- they saw the love we wanted to give and they loved us in return. They loved us well, in their own way, but they loved us.
The day we had to leave approached a little too quickly. I wasn’t expecting this to be hard month to move on from. After all, these girls could care less if I were there or not. Our last day of class, we ate ice cream and talked and played games! When we told them we were leaving the next day, Yim reached over to me and latched on my arm for almost half the class period. That. That made me realize how hard this goodbye was going to be. And it was. I don’t think I’ve cried so much since being in the race. I was carrying my bags to the Song-Tao and I saw one of the little girls and I called her over to give her a note I had written for them. She looked at me, smiled and ran away, up the stairs to her room. I was so discouraged, “they don’t want to say bye.” I came back to the same little girl running up to me and handing me a card with a drawing. I opened the card to read it, and I started bawling. I realized that they actually did receive the love we were wanting to shower them with! I cried more than I have in a long time, not because I got a card, but because it read
“Thank you God for your team. You are my sister. You are kind and beautiful. I love you so much. God bless you.”
Such simple words from such a genuine heart. The other girls made me a card and each signed it saying “God loves you” “I love you” followed by their names.
Maybe this sounds simple, or possibly minute, but it’s something God used to stretch me and remind me of why we fight for the people around us. People need to know we are loved and sometimes it takes longer for people to realize it.
God fights for us, right! He pursues us! He asks to be invited into our lives, to be involved in the things we like to do and He is willing to sit on the sidelines, cheering us on, even though we pretend we don’t see Him there. His love is much more perfect than mine, but He taught me about his perfect, relentless pursuit by giving me the opportunity to pursue showing these girls the love of Christ.
Who around you is God calling you to fight for? To pursue? To love even when they make you sit on the sideline, pretending you don’t exist… 
