I’ve kept many people out of the loop of what I’m currently doing out on the field. Some of that has been due to the exhaustion of trying to let everyone back home, even all of my supporters who deserve to know, what my life has looked like since the beginning of September.
In today’s modern world, a quick sync of phones or wifi devices let people around the globe know what’s been going on in a person’s life with an upload of an Instragram, a status update or even a snapchat to friends.
But those have all felt shallow to me lately.
I started to post a photo the other day.
The team I was with had organized a day of evangelism in a local park after they performed a skit depicting God’s beautiful interference of our lives. The afternoon was fun and I loved the interactions I had with a couple of little girls and a man selling balloons after the skit was finished.
I almost posted a photo of the team performing the skit. And a caption was almost posted speaking of Saul, Vanessa and her older sister and their needs that I was privileged to lift up in prayer. The caption almost asked you to join me in prayer too.
I almost let you see some of what my day was. But when it came time to let the post travel across the satellite signal, I stopped myself.
The moments of the day seemed cheapened by the simple click of a filter button and catching a wifi signal.
Photos and status updates become more like show and tell. They don’t share the raw emotion behind a moment, or the frustrating thing that happened two minutes before the sunset was hit the hills perfectly. They can’t fill you in on the real thing. And it becomes more about this instagram mission than really what God is doing.
The past three months have been incredible, exhausting, enriching, powerful, and all in all amazing. I have experienced frustrations, huge amounts of love and laughter, immense sadness and discouragement and new depths of Papa’s love for me and others in this world.
In Haiti, I worked with two different ministries. I tilled land for a farm, hung out with kiddos and built part of a playground. I lost in soccer on a local dirt pitch. I rode around in tap taps and on motos. I taught English, picked up trash and visited with people in several different villages.
In Bolivia, our entire squad lived together on the basketball court of a Christian camp and retreat center. We cooked food for 40 people over four burners and ate lots of rice and beans. Our host was Hermano Lucho and I believe that he has forever changed our idea of what it means to be generous and joyful in the Lord. The man is a delight and a light of God’s presence. We spent the month helping with camp maintenance and building new pathways out of rocks we carried from the river. And it’s an important note, the bugs nearly drove the squad insane with itching and swelling. Bug spray didn’t help at all and many of us have several scars.
The squad being together was a beautiful and draining experience. I rested in Lima, Peru with my co-leaders for a couple of days after a leadership development weekend. I spent a large amount of time (and money) sitting on a couch at Starbucks. The couches at Starbucks provided much needed therapy to my heart and soul.
The month of Peru flew by. I traveled on 12 different buses with eight of those rides taking place overnight. I visited with four teams in three cities. It was chilly in Huanuco, dusty in Trujillo and HOT in Pucallpa. I watched as teams walked through growing pains of life together. It was the first time teams were by themselves for J squad. The 24/7 community, in many new ways, got REAL. Ministry in Peru included many late hours as the culture seems to stay up late into the night. The teams preached, performed skits, helped with youth groups, painted and taught English. My co-leaders and I had several difficult conversations and spent much time during the month speaking life over our people.
And that is probably the thing that is most on my heart of late. Our people. My people. The ones that teach me about the Father. The ones that give grace when I speak out of a fleshly reaction rather than a loving response. The ones that are beginning to walk in parts of their identity that they have never recognized before.
There is so much about my people that I wish I could share with you all. So much of the beauty of this season comes from watching them grow and be stretched. It is in all of the conflict and struggle and all of the joy and crazy fun we have within new cultures, the Church, and community.
But instagram can’t capture it. I can’t seem to adequately capture what this season is doing in me. Even in words.
My attempts to post a status or a photo for you all to understand more of what God is doing in and through me with this group of people seems to be in vain.
Photographs of the teams in ministry or even exploring seems to be more for me, in the idea that I should be sharing and proving to you that we are indeed on a missions trip.
But I can’t seem to hit the send button. I don’t want to upload anything. It seems to cheapen what is happening here.
So with that, I ask you to pray for us. And to trust God in what He is doing in the nations with the World Race. Trust God in what He is doing with J Squad currently in South America.
And if you still want to see pictures or videos, check out my people’s blogs. We have some talented photographers, writers and videographers. And they post more than I do 🙂
And with that, I ironically leave you with a picture of J Squad from our home in Bolivia. Only Ellen is missing.
I need your prayers and financial support. Please consider donating to my support account so that I can continue this journey with J squad. My next deadline is February 1st and I am in need of $2800.
Thanks!
