Here’s a post I wrote as we left Pattaya in March:
We just spent a week in Pattaya, the “world’s largest adult playground,” and my heart breaks for this city. It’s not a teary, sad heartbreak though. It’s deeper. It’s a heavy, soul-deep burden that horrible, broken places like this exist in our world.
One night we handed out carnations along the boardwalk. We gave women a red flower, a tract, and an invitation to the Tamar Center. They asked how much? As if nothing they ever received was free. We ask the women their names, if they spoke English, where they were from, and if they had a family or children. We explained that the Tamar center offers free training in the beauty salon, cafe, card making, and I could tell they didn’t believe us.
Yesterday I talked and laughed with Nena, a 62 year old women at the bar. She made it clear she knew about the Tamar Center and about Jesus, but she definitely didn’t want to talk about Him. She said she likes Buddha.
I felt Nena pushing me away as some people do if they’ve been deeply hurt by others. It was as if she thought I would go away because she didn’t want to talk about Jesus, but that’s not how Jesus is. I was determined to stay and be with her. I wanted to sit with her and hear her story more than I wanted to talk about Jesus.
I’m thankful Jesus doesn’t come to us with an agenda. He doesn’t have evangelism tracks or a script. He didn’t even pass out flowers. He meets us wherever we are, and if we’re not ready to talk, He’ll sit with us. He came to be with us.
Maybe being God’s hands and feet mean sitting with people who want nothing to do with Him. It’s about sticking around when people push you away. People want to know, if you see who I really am, will you still love me? Will you stick around? I think we’re called to be the people who say yes. I get to be here in Thailand because the Lord’s pursued me. He sticks around when I push him away, and He loves me relentlessly.
Nena has worked at the bar for over 40 years. She said it used to be as busy as Walking Street, the main street lined with busy bars and clubs, but it’s changed. She has daughters in their 40’s AND grandchildren. She taught herself English because she was too lazy for school. Her dream job is to be a farmer in her village, but she doesn’t have any land.
As we talked about Buddha, karma, marriage, and men, I asked, “Are all Thai men bad?”
Her response somehow surprised me.
She replied, “Yes, if they loved their wives and worked hard to support their families, instead of gambling, drinking, and buying girls, the girls wouldn’t be here selling themselves every night. This is not a happy life.” I’m sure she has so much perspective and wisdom to share. She’s been one of the girls, and she watches them come and go with different men everyday.
Somehow it surprised me that she sees it too though. She sees the brokenness. She sees the emptiness. There’s no illusion for the women that men or sex will make them happy. This is just a job. A soul crushing job they do for their families. They sell themselves.
It was easy for me to think there’s no hint of self-worth, respect, or dignity in these women, but I don’t know if anyone has ever told them they are worthy of love and respect.
My soul ached, and I wished Nena could meet a good man. I wished I could introduce to men who deeply love their families and work hard to provide for them. I wanted to tell her that good men still exist, but I couldn’t. She needs to see it because everything else she has seen tells her good men don’t exist, and after this week, I get it.
Something snapped in me this week. There’s no name for it, but I’ve seen things I cannot unsee. I’ve seen a whole new level of brokenness and dysfunction. I’ve walked the streets lined with women waiting to be bought for the night. I can’t complacently walk down a boardwalk, through a night market, or a bar lined street anymore. Now I think of Pattaya, brokenness, and women like Nena.
As we prayer walked yesterday, the Lord spoke the words awakening, hope, freedom, and redemption to me, and this verse has never seemed more applicable:
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”
Isaiah 61:1 is why we’re here.
In spite of the brokenness, there’s good news for those who are broken, captive, and imprisoned. I can’t remember Pattaya for the beautiful beaches, clear blue water, and tourists from around the world. It is a place of heartbreaking emptiness where women, ladyboys, and Johns literally line the streets. This city need the pure love and freedom of Jesus, and we have been anointed to proclaim this good news.
