I grew up with four sisters and one brother. From the get go, I always had an older brother and sister, looking out for me. And yes, getting me in trouble too. Any McConnell girl can tell story after story of our willingness to follow Andrew to the ends of the earth and the repercussions of doing so. Ashlee loved, I assume, having me following her around. It gave her opportunity at a young age to practice new things with a willing assistant, like hair cutting and building fires.
We were joined by Alecia when I was only 18 months old and upon arrival from the hospital, she became our roommate. The three of us shared several rooms through the years, until Ashlee reached her senior year of high school and gained some much needed freedom. Though I daresay, Alecia and I didn’t enjoy it as much as she did. Abbey and Amelia joined our family soon after Alecia (the age range with 9 years between the 6 of us). Abbey and Amelia rarely got to experience the firsthand accounts of late night giggle or squabble fests in the older girls room. The giggles would lead to tired parents becoming annoyed and attempting to inflict punishment that would spur us to sleep. Most of the time, it didn’t work. And the squabble fests were largely because I wanted the lamp on always to read just one more page.
By the time I reached college, I was pretty sure I knew how to live with others. I had grown up with a built in community. But I was nervous when I first learned that neither of my roommates had siblings and or had never shared a room. Despite my assumed thought of not needing any help in the roommate area, I did learn much that first year. My roommate(s) were great. And one would go on to stick it out with me for the next 2.5 years.
Many of my lessons that year were not necessarily learned in my room, but were learned from observing others. I lived on a dorm with 70 girls. And would for the next two years. I did life with them. I was a leader on the dorm for two years and found the ability to love others was easily enhanced when you are praying for them. Three years on dorms of 70 girls… I saw so much of how others lived. How tension rises when the truth is withheld. How simple acts of being courteous and responsible make a difference. How all for one and one for all is a pretty good rule to follow. How to pray for those you don’t see eye to eye with but more importantly how to pray for the things that God wants to teach you through those with whom you don’t see eye to eye. I learned to trust others with my struggles and saw the value of relying on others when some difficult challenges entered my life. I learned so many other things, but I can already tell this is too long…
I moved off campus for what I generally recognize as my second junior year. And I moved into an apartment with 5 great friends. That apartment was used for transitions. People moving off campus, people graduating, people joining for one semester and moving out. We called it The Bungalow. [[ http://evankinney.theworldrace.org/?filename=the-bungalow ]]
I lived there for two years. And I genuinely loved it for a time. It was where I began hearing from the Lord. It was where I was blessed with community. Different from the structured community of dorm life. We fought for it in this apartment. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. But in all of its seasons, it was beautiful.
God asked me to leave it last May. So I did. And the transition out of the Bungalow, into a new apartment, with two roommates and my own room – for the first time ever – was difficult and sometimes lonely. God asked me to trust him in the move. And for a season, I tried to ignore the things He was trying to
do in my heart and life by asking me to move. I moved, what more do you want? Let me wallow for a while. There is so much more that went on with this transition, but that’s all you need to know for now.
For now, I simply want to share how I had 17 roommates over a 5 year period of time. 17. (This does not include Alli and Em from freshman year : ) Throw in two of my sisters specifically and my other family members, you get a total of 19 and 24 people. (And yes, I still talk to almost all of them, though some fell away when I deleted my facebook a couple of years back).
I know this trip is what I am supposed to be doing and I am often ridiculously excited about it, but I still have fears. And the biggest… community.
Ask me about my years with so many roommates and I’ll have some stories. Stories of being drained, stories of being poured into and called up to a better me and stories that are full of tears, joy, heartache, laughs, hikes, running, good meals, bad Christmas decorations, rearranging furniture, dance parties, house anthems, and an apartment that looked like it was decorated by a 12 year old boy. Looking back on it all, I’ve seen God’s grace magnified.
I know how much it hurts to have roommates fighting and trying to fix things, how much it stinks to have the responsibility of always being the one to make decisions, pay the bills and literally fix things around the house, because you’re the “man of the home”. I experienced spiritual warfare in that apartment. I know how awkward it is to try and relax in a living room or cook in a kitchen when around you unspoken tensions fly between two others. All I want to do is make myself a dang quesadilla, take that tension elsewhere. I interceded for roommates with eating disorders and ones making other decisions that broke my heart. I learned grace, patience, and how to be vulnerable. I sometimes felt like the mom and also the handyman. I was viewed as the one in authority, though I hated it. But for all of the struggles, I would not take it back. And at times, I know I do not have it the same now and I miss it.
Community is difficult. And the thought of breaking into it on an overseas trip, with so many other built in emotions, makes me fearful.
But I know I need it. And I want it. Most former racers will tell you that community is the most difficult thing on the race, but also the best thing. And while I am fearful of it… even writing this blog, I am getting excited for it. I can't wait to grow from it.
[And yes, though not counted in the official roommate count, I consider some of the ever present Bungalow boys a huge part of the past few years. You also bring life in the community I have grown to love.]
Thank you so much to all those who have supported me so far, in prayer and donations! As of now, I am going to be set to head off to training camp in May. And I'm well on my way to make the deadline for launch in July!!
