This past weekend after a day off filled with carbs and chocolate, my teammate and friend Karyn and I vowed to make our last full week in Lesotho a “healthier week.” We vowed to run every morning and eat less bread and treats as they are things that only bring temporary enjoyment to us before the regret sets in.
So Monday morning arrived, and all 15 of us arose for our morning walk with our host. Karyn and I got in our running gear and headed down a different path from our group with a running playlist playing to keep us motivated. We ran head first into the blustery winter wind, our eyes watering and our noses running in no time. As we got into our pace, my foot caught a rock and I began to fly through the air, luckily regaining my balance just in time. A few minutes later, Karyn tripped but caught herself as well.
As we began running back toward our home, I looked down to change the song on my phone, then got in stride just in time to trip yet again. Only this time was different as I soared and landed with a thud, my right knee making direct and brutal contact with a rock, my right hand caught under my body, and my left hand above my head. My phone landed above me, Hillsong Young & Free blaring beside my head. Pain thundered and pulsed through my leg and I just pictured my entire knee being shredded. Not my proudest moment, but in full transparency, I did lay on that dirt road, just as I had landed, and cried for a minute before trying to move. As I sat up, Karyn prayed aloud and rubbed my back.
Frustration set in for a few reasons:
– My favorite Nike leggings were now bloody and torn on my leg.
– Everyone is going to think I am such a wimp because my injury looks like just a scraped knee and battered hands. But inside my knee was crying out as I began moving it.
– This is our last week here and I want to be all in! I don’t want to sit and be a spectator.
As these things brought more tears of frustration to my eyes, my squadmate Evan appeared out of nowhere, out of breath from running to find me. I leaned back against his legs as he rubbed my shoulders. He and Karyn helped me up, dusted me off, and walked me home, making jokes all the way to keep me laughing.
When I first arrived back, I didn’t tell the group what happened to me, but quietly grabbed my things and headed to the bathroom to clean up. I was a little embarrassed and unsure what everyone would actually think. As it turned out, I did need more help than I let on. Soon the small bathhouse was full of awesome and compassionate squadmates who truly cared and were concerned for me. I’m not exactly sure why I thought things would be any different than that, but I was thankful for the ones who sat and prayed with me, for Michelle who put her nursing skills to work, for the cup of coffee Karyn brought to me, and for my teammate Anna who simply sat with me the whole time.
Since then, everyone has been amazingly sweet to me and patient with me as I have not been able to make the climb up to our village. I am learning what true community looks like as they ask how I am doing and understand when I need time to make sure I am healthy and whole again. This month has been a physical struggle for a lot of us, and to witness how we carry each other’s burdens and believe the best in one another has been truly great. I know it has been a learning and growing experience for all of us, but I am thankful that no one has ever looked down on me or cast judgment on me.
I have been wondering why God allowed my last week here to slow down a bit, and I have come to realize that He is using this time to draw me closer to Him. I have had the chance to have deeper conversations with Him, and He has told me things about my future and myself that I probably would not have heard if I was not granted the extra time with Him.
One of the most important lessons I learned earlier on this Race has been a great reassurance to me, the girl who can’t sit still and feels silly for staying home, and that is this: When we rest in God and bring Him our weakness, He will strengthen and renew us. When we strive and work harder just to show that we are capable to others, we miss the blessing of resting in Him. Resting doesn’t make us look lazy, but it brings us out on the other side stronger and more in tune with Jesus than before.
So I will count my two left feet and current bum knee as a blessing, knowing that His promises for me here in Lesotho have not been wasted, but that they just look a little different than I had planned. I will remember the awesome value of community and rest that Jesus revealed to me in this time, and when I wear my favorite, now-torn Nike leggings, I will laugh at myself and thank Him for taking me down to strengthen me for whatever lies ahead.
