I am completely amazed at what God has taught me over the past week.
Last Friday we left Nepal and were headed to Thailand for debrief. I was emotional and sad to leave the people I had fallen in love with at Asha Nepal, but I knew this was all a part of the World Race. The leaving is so hard, but the promises of a new country, ministry, and people to share Jesus with make it possible to mosey on the plane with your Squad.
We had a nice and shorter than usual travel day. Only 6 hours on planes, two flights, and we even got to stop at the New Dehli airport to have Domino's for lunch! YES!
We arrived in Thailand at about 8 at night, got our Visas and head to baggage claim. Most of our squad has the exact same airporter over our big packs so you go up to baggage claim to search through the piles of big black airporters to find yours. My first search through left me without my bag, but I knew it could have easily been skipped. I venture through the packs again and that's when reality started to set in.
My big pack is not there.
I let my team and logistics leaders know and we hope that maybe someone picked it up and thought it was theirs. With lots of prayers of it showing up when we got to our location for debrief, we left the airport. That night everyone gets their packs and heads to their rooms and my pack was no where to be found.
I had read way too many packing blogs and spent far too many hours at REI to get all that I needed for the Race. I stressed over how many t-shirts to bring, how many tampons I could stuff in random places, and the perfect sleeping pad. And all the sudden, it was gone.
I'll spare all the details of the craziness that happened to try to find my bag, but here is the overview: We made 3 trips to the airport, tried to call as many numbers as possible but we seemed to keep running into walls. We had been in 3 airports on that travel day, and we had no idea which bag number was mine because Air India had us check all big packs in at once. Dealing with this issue in America is hard enough, but when you're dealing with people that speak English as their second language, miscommunication is even more common.
Frustrated, angry, scared, overwhelmed are just a few of the ways I was feeling on a daily basis. I wanted to be positive and I told my squadmates over and over again that I knew God was in control and He knows exactly where my bag is. But honestly, I could have said it all day, but in my heart, I was angry.
My conversations with God consisted of a lot of, "Why? Why me? I know you have a purpose in this and this is not a mistake, but why are you putting me through this right now? The World Race has already been hard enough, now this is just ridiculous"
I even thought about going home.
You see, a few days previously, my teammate Layne and I had had a conversation about what would happen if our packs got lost and I said with a laugh, that I would just go home.
So I started asking if this was God's way of showing me I needed to go home. On our way to our first night of worship that I night I prayed a simple prayer. I said, "God, show me if I am still supposed to be on the Race. I need something I can't explain away to change or happenstance. I need to know this is where you want me."
I'm not sure what I expected from this prayer, but I just knew that that night, I needed to know that I was in the center of His will. Even though I had no clothes to change into, I needed to know I was going to be taken care of in Thailand.
Worship time with my squad began and it was just wonderful. Then my squadmate Amanda came up to me in the middle of worship and told me, "Ally, God wants you to know that you are right where you are supposed to be. You are supposed to be on the World Race and He has so much more to show you and they can only happen away from home."
WHAT???
God knew I didn't need some vague hint. I needed it to hit me smack in the face. And oh how it did.
Those words that could only have been spoken by God alone kept me from hopping on the next flight from Bangkok to Atlanta.
I knew God was sovereign over this situation. Wholly and completely. I knew this had happened for my good and most importantly, that He is good. I knew that He was teaching me and growing me in this situation. I knew He had known before I was born that I was going to be in Thailand without my big pack. I knew the truth, but still struggled so much.
By no coincidence, this I am sure, my Bible reading plan had me finishing up Job during this past week. God is pretty much saying, "You're questioning me and trying to tell me what to do? Oh really? Do you understand who I am?"
Job 38:4-7 "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements- surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"
As I sat in my self pity and questioning why God was putting me through this, He was continually whispering who He is.
Job had EVERYTHING taken from him. Everyone he loves, everything he owned, simply everything. I was MUCH better off than Job. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
But my mind was so trapped in poor, pitiful me that I couldn't see God's provision during this time. I would go through such intense waves of being okay, and then times of breaking down and wondering how I could survive the next 9 months of the World Race without all the gear I needed.
After God reminds Job of who He is, Job replies with complete surrender:
Job 42:2-5: "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 'Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.' I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see you"
I wish I could say I read this passage and repented right then and there. But I didn't. Luckily, my disobedience never changes His incredible grace or plan. Little did I know that God was unfolding a beautiful story of His faithfulness and provision right before my eyes.
To be continued…
