Have you ever heard the term the hello is worth the goodbye? Have you ever gone into a friendship, job, season, or place knowing that you have to say goodbye at some point? This is probably one of the hardest things for me to do on the Race. To know that I am going into a new country and starting these relationships for me just to say goodbye within a few weeks. I struggled with the fact that I am suppose to and I want to love these people and places with a 100% kind of love, but then leave heartbroken because goodbyes hurt. This past month has probably been the hardest and best month on the race. I have had to say quite of bit of goodbyes.
For starters, I am on a new team and man are they are great, but it was hard to leave my old team. That team was with me in the beginning, they walked through life and challenges with me, they became a home for me.
I also have had to say goodbye to my squad leaders and man did that one hurt. These 4 wonderful, dope peeps have challenged me, fought for me, loved me, pursued me, laughed and wept with me, and supported me more than most people in my life. One of these Squad Leaders, Sol, became like a big bro to me. Heck he baptized me, taught me about God as a Father, to walk boldly in the authority that has given to me by the Holy Spirit, and how to continue to push through the challenges.
This past month I was partnered up with a church in Jordan that did community style living and I met people from South Africa, Australia, Germany, Egypt, and Jordan who became like family to me. We did so much life together and we shared our stories with each other, and then we had to say goodbye.
And now I am sitting at the airport in my last Middle Eastern country heartbroken to leave this beautiful part of the world. These are some of the most beautiful and hospitable people I have ever met in my life. I have gotten to practice my Arabic with them. I have gotten to come and listened to their stories of a broken home, country, and the wars of their countries that have made them leave everything behind.
My heart hurts at these goodbyes, but man were they so worth it. I used to be the person and I am still working on it, who would go into a situation or relationship with walls already built up high so that I wouldn’t be hurt in the end. But, what I’ve learned is that in doing so, I didn’t love the way the Lord has intended for me to love people. He asks me to let his love overflow for these people and to trust that he is going to be my comforter and restore my heart.
So is it scary to be your full self and love with everything you got knowing that a goodbye is to come? Yes. Does the goodbye suck? Yes. Will you cry and be a hot mess, probably, but the goodbye is worth the hello.
“Endings are better than beginnings…” -Eccl. 7:8a
So pursue people hard my dear friends. Don’t hold back even 1% of yourself because God didn’t hold back any of the pursuit or love for us. Heck, he left the 99 for us. Just remember he works all things out for his good so trust that when you say goodbye he is still at work. And he is right, endings are better because then you get to look back at the Lord’s faithfulness to his children. I encourage you to love well, and process all the feels.
