I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.
Welp, that song dropped off my list of favorites this year as the reality of it sank in.
I’ve been holding it together well (or just avoiding the thought?) — but as I sat in my sweet host’s living room this morning in Malawi, Africa, drinking hot tea, listening to Christmas music with my team, it hit me that I won’t be home for Christmas. For light-seeing, cookie-baking, pajama-wearing, or papa’s Christmas-story-reading. For my mama’s blueberry muffins on Christmas morning, or for my Mimi’s Christmas cooking. For waking Brother up to go downstairs, or for ry’s sweet face as he experiences his first Christmas that he’s truly aware of.
Christmas is going to look a little different this year. My team is going to pay $40 to go into town, sit at the restaurant “where the whites go,” and call home when our families wake up on the other side of the world.
It’d be easy for me to continue on in this pity party. But, goodness, that’s not what Christmas is about, right?
Yes, this Christmas looks different.
Yes, I’m crying as I write this post.
And yes, I miss my family more than I can begin to explain.
But, the SAVIOR OF THE WORLD was born. Maybe not on this day exactly…but this is the day the world has decided to celebrate, and by goodness, I’m determined to do so.
Maybe this Christmas looks different for you too. Maybe you’re far from home. you’ve lost a loved one this year. you’re serving overseas. your baby girl has decided to leave on some crazy 11 month long trip (I love you, mama). Maybe life has just looked different.
Something that I speak almost daily to the people of Malawi as we evangelize in the surrounding villages is that circumstances change, but our joy doesn’t have to.
JOY comes from knowing (truly knowing!) God. Joy exists in our lives because God sent His one and only son to earth as a baby to live a perfect life, to die for our sins on the cross + conquer death as He was raised to life again, and to provide us with the opportunity for a personal relationship with the Father. That personal relationship — THAT is where our joy comes from. Not from our circumstances.
So no matter where this Christmas finds you, remember that JOY is possible, as it is found solely in our unshakeable God. (:
Yes, I’ll be home for Christmas only in my dreams this year. But I am going to celebrate the birth of our Savior with my sweet team and host family, and I trust that the same God who is with me now is all the way back home comforting my family, too.
Merry Christmas, friends!! Hug your loved ones a littler tighter, and eat a little extra for me this year (:
—sending love from Malawi—
