PART 2
After
this conversation I had a lot to think about and pray about. This blog is an excerpt from my journal that I wrote in church last Sunday. I post this journal entry to be honest and vulnerable with what God is teaching me. I hope it helps someone or speaks to someone who may be going through something similar.
“Psalm 62:1 “My soul finds rest in God alone…” I am not at rest and when I am resting, it is not in You, Jesus. This Scripture says that my soul is to find rest in you alone. “….my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my Rock and my Salvation. In him, I will never be shaken.”
My Salvation is most definitely from you. You are my rock and my salvation, you are my fortress, I will never be shaken. But I feel shaken Lord. I feel shaken. Is this my fault? Am I choosing to be shaken, instead of running to you for refuge? I am certainly making it all about me and fitting you in. Of course I feel shaken. I am not making my life about you. Help me to change this. Speak to me. You know what I need. You ALONE know what I need. I repent, Lord. Forgive me. God you will resurrect me, and bring dead things in me to life…the fruit of the Spirit. You want me to trust you.”
I stopped writing as I heard fellow Racer,
Daniel Strosky giving the message for church and he was describing the Israelites and their faith. Dan spoke of when the Israelites faced a challenge they were quick to stop trusting God. They would want to go back to Egypt, away from God and back into their slavery. (Rather than trust the Lord in His provision, protection, and love.)
I continued to write in my journal, “I don’t want to go back to Egypt, Lord. I don’t want death or to be destroyed. I want to obey and live in you. ”
I am amazed at how easily I forget so much of what I have learned. It will take effort to apply the lessons God has taught me this year. Like, who I am in Him. It is a daily choice to Walk with Him and to be in His presence, and what a privledge it is!
Please pray for me through this. I have one week left of the World Race and then back to Colorado. Pray for preparation for me in my homecoming as well as ending here well and strong!
