For the majority of my life, I have looked to God as, well, God. I knew He was personal, but He was big and I was small. It’s hard to see the personal in that. But before I left on the Race, God began to reveal to me that He is my Papa. He’s personal and he’s close. So I found myself journaling how thankful I was that He is such a good Papa to me. And lately, God has been drawing me back to what I wrote months ago. My life’s verse is from Song of Songs, and it says, “Dark am I, yet lovely.” And out of that truth, I wrote this:
Papa, I love you.
Thank you that I am not the person I use to be.
Thank you for changing my life…for considering me someone worth holding on to.
Thank you for love that is unconditional because if you put conditions on it, I would fail.
Thank you for allowing me to come to you as I am.
For not requiring perfection before I step into your presence.
You accept me as your daughter.
A daughter you fight for. A daughter you protect.
Through the world is against me, you fight fiercely for me,
Believing in me throughout my darkness.
You see the light in me when I don’t see it in myself.
You see the potential in me when I feel as if I have none.
You lavish gifts on me, not because I earned them,
But because you love me, and I’m yours.
I don’t have to fear because Papa is with me, and that means the world to me.
I don’t go forgotten because you always remember me.
I’m on your mind…not because I’m weak and helpless, but because you love me.
And because you love, you do come in my weakness and helplessness.
You never fail me…everyone else does, you don’t.
And I gain confidence from that because I know who is by my side.
So when I am afraid and it’s too much, all I need is your face.
That is where I find peace and love.
I know you have a plan and there is confidence in that.
I don’t always know the plan, but I know you have it, so I can rest.
Thank you for rest. Thank you for peace. Thank you for coming.
When I call, you’re there.
And I don’t doubt it. It’s constant because it’s who you are.
You are good.
Others may not see that, but I know you are and I stand on that.
No matter what happens, I know you are good.
And I can point to areas and times in my life when that goodness has showed up on my behalf.
I’m sorry for not saying it more…thank you.
Thank you for this opportunity you’ve given me.
I can’t even imagine everything you have prepare for me this year, but having a taste this far through the journey promises that this year will be full of cake.
Thank you for my heritage. Thank you for my legacy.
Thank you for a grandfather that paid a price.
For people who have prayed over me.
For sacrifices that have been made to bring me to this point in my life.
Thank you for your Word and the words you give me.
Thank you for a voice that will be heard in countries around the world.
For a message that will bring hope and life to those in bondage, held captive by chains that once bound me.
Thank you for freedom—FREEDOM!
I don’t walk in what I once did. I’m free.
I know who I was and I know who I am today and I know the reason for the change.
I am changed. My heart is renewed. My mind has been changed.
I can be pure. I can be life. I can be light.
I can bring freedom.
You do have a purpose for me, Papa.
You do have a best life ever for me.
Planned out to be lived in the way that brings the most glory to you.
And you are worth my life.
If I spend my life on you, it’s a life well spent.
If others reject you, I still win.
Nothing can come against me and prevail.
My dad is on my side. Nothing can touch that.
Thank you, Papa.
Thank you for not leaving me in the ditch with my mess.
Thank you for being attracted to my mess.
And thank you for taking all that mess I have
And making something so beautiful out of it.
Thank you, Papa.
I love you.
“Dark am I, yet lovely”
Song of Songs 1:5
Papa, I love you.
Thank you that I am not the person I use to be.
Thank you for changing my life…for considering me someone worth holding on to.
Thank you for love that is unconditional because if you put conditions on it, I would fail.
Thank you for allowing me to come to you as I am.
For not requiring perfection before I step into your presence.
You accept me as your daughter.
A daughter you fight for. A daughter you protect.
Through the world is against me, you fight fiercely for me,
Believing in me throughout my darkness.
You see the light in me when I don’t see it in myself.
You see the potential in me when I feel as if I have none.
You lavish gifts on me, not because I earned them,
But because you love me, and I’m yours.
I don’t have to fear because Papa is with me, and that means the world to me.
I don’t go forgotten because you always remember me.
I’m on your mind…not because I’m weak and helpless, but because you love me.
And because you love, you do come in my weakness and helplessness.
You never fail me…everyone else does, you don’t.
And I gain confidence from that because I know who is by my side.
So when I am afraid and it’s too much, all I need is your face.
That is where I find peace and love.
I know you have a plan and there is confidence in that.
I don’t always know the plan, but I know you have it, so I can rest.
Thank you for rest. Thank you for peace. Thank you for coming.
When I call, you’re there.
And I don’t doubt it. It’s constant because it’s who you are.
You are good.
Others may not see that, but I know you are and I stand on that.
No matter what happens, I know you are good.
And I can point to areas and times in my life when that goodness has showed up on my behalf.
I’m sorry for not saying it more…thank you.
Thank you for this opportunity you’ve given me.
I can’t even imagine everything you have prepare for me this year, but having a taste this far through the journey promises that this year will be full of cake.
Thank you for my heritage. Thank you for my legacy.
Thank you for a grandfather that paid a price.
For people who have prayed over me.
For sacrifices that have been made to bring me to this point in my life.
Thank you for your Word and the words you give me.
Thank you for a voice that will be heard in countries around the world.
For a message that will bring hope and life to those in bondage, held captive by chains that once bound me.
Thank you for freedom—FREEDOM!
I don’t walk in what I once did. I’m free.
I know who I was and I know who I am today and I know the reason for the change.
I am changed. My heart is renewed. My mind has been changed.
I can be pure. I can be life. I can be light.
I can bring freedom.
You do have a purpose for me, Papa.
You do have a best life ever for me.
Planned out to be lived in the way that brings the most glory to you.
And you are worth my life.
If I spend my life on you, it’s a life well spent.
If others reject you, I still win.
Nothing can come against me and prevail.
My dad is on my side. Nothing can touch that.
Thank you, Papa.
Thank you for not leaving me in the ditch with my mess.
Thank you for being attracted to my mess.
And thank you for taking all that mess I have
And making something so beautiful out of it.
Thank you, Papa.
I love you.
“Dark am I, yet lovely”
Song of Songs 1:5
