Month 7. Rwanda, Africa.
I have been away from my home in Tennessee since the beginning of August 2017, and although the months seem to go by fast…some days go by very slow. This month—extremely slow.
Last week was the toughest week mentally on the Race for me. There is a term on the World Race called the “B-Zone”. In the words of my pal Mikayla:
“There are times on the Race where you just don’t want to “press in” anymore. You’re sick, you’re tired of being around people 24/7, you’re annoyed with your teammates, you’re missing the comforts of home, you’re tired of eating foreign food every day, and you just want a break.
This is what we call the B-Zone. The newness of the Race has worn off and you’re just tired and in a slump.” (You can read more about the B-Zone here: http://mikaylahartel.theworldrace.org/post/bzone )
I was tired. So tired. Tired of being uncomfortable. Tired of “pressing in”. Tired of being in another foreign country. Tired of eating carbs for every meal. Tired of sweating all day, every day. Tired of trying to communicate with people that don’t speak the same language as me. If I’m being honest, I was tired of reading my Bible. I was tired of praying. I was tired of being tired.
I was B-Zoning so hard.
But then, Jesus.
Through my 1 week B-Zone campout, Jesus remained steadfast. He remained constant. While I was tired, He remained wide awake. And in the smallest, most faint whisper He spoke to me the same thing 3 days in a row:
“Come to me.” He said.
“Be with me. Sit down and rest with me. I know what your soul needs. Quit trying. Quit doing. Just sit down and rest in my Presence. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus says in Matthew 11:25-26;28:
“At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. … Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus says He hid the things of the kingdom of heaven, which require faith and humility to grasp, from the wise and instead He reveals them to little children.
Lord, make me like a child.
The little children are those who receive the fullness of the gospel in simple faith. Simple.
As I was worn out from life, Jesus spoke to me quietly, “Become like a child again, Alexandra. Come to me. And I will give you rest.”
When the Lord spoke this to me I started to weep. Not just wipe-away-one-tear kind of crying…full on weeping. Face in the palms of my hands, tears-streaming-down-my-face-uncontrollably kind of weeping.
I had forgotten what childlike faith looked like. When I look at little children, they are so free with no cares in the world. They don’t fear the future, they embrace every moment as if it were their last. They aren’t striving to earn love because they know they are fully loved. They don’t worry about missing a “quiet time” with God, they just go and live life with God.
It was in my B-Zone-brokenness that I heard the Lord telling me to come sit with Him and rest. To just breathe, quit striving, soak in His presence….and rest.
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“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)
