As I use my polished fingers to select letters on my keyboard to create this blog, sunlight pushes my city east towards a northern night, and Calgary busies itself directing drivers through traffic lights, providing supply for the dinner demand, and welcoming athletes, families, and domesticated animals to its parks and pathways.
I love evening. Usually I am out there in it.
But tonight, I am at home alone, and I can’t remember the last time I did this, even prior to the Race, but tonight, I am writing for you. I extend you these next words with a delicate reach, please, come and take them.
In this blog
I’d like to reveal how:
GOD
ANSWERED
MY
BIGGEST PRAYERS
FOR MY RACE:
I wanted to know if God was who He said He was.
I wanted to know if He was enough for me, enough for the people of our beautiful Earth.
I wanted to know if He could be real and relevant to me.
And if He measured up, I wanted to fall in love with Him.
And?
NOW I AM IN LOVE.
Which means,
that He measured up.
My polished fingers have slowed pace in the selection of letter keys, as I ponder how to articulate the “how”. It’s hard to explain when under the influence of gravity. It’s something only understood with the part of your heart that exists without the laws that govern our Earth.
I will tell you the best story I’ve lived, but I will tell it with that part of my heart, and I will tell it to that part of your heart.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE JESUS WRITTEN ABOUT IN JOHN CHAPTERS 17-21.
I read the entire gospel of John in one day. I say this to interest you in doing the same.
And thus my story begins…
In John 17, Jesus shares intimate words in a conversation with His Father, God. What would the topic of conversation be? It was about US, about HUMANITY. Jesus tells God how He ACHES and DESIRES for us to know God, like Jesus knows Him, FOR US TO KNOW LOVE.
In John 18, Jesus is betrayed. Jesus is tortured. Jesus is sentenced to an unjust death.
In John 19, Jesus spiritually takes on every sin of all the world, which separates Him from His Father, God. Jesus dies and goes to hell.
Jesus had just poured out His heart to God in John 17, telling God how He ACHES and DESIRES for us to know God, like Jesus knows Him, FOR US TO KNOW LOVE. And then in John 19, Jesus is removed from God’s presence because of our sin.
Jesus was removed from God’s presence- from knowing God and being known by God,
for us to know God personally, intimately, passionately.
In John 20, the world’s biggest miracle occurred, the world’s greatest defeat was brought back for the win. Jesus comes back to life (thus conquering death/evil/Satan/and other synonyms).
IF THE BIBLE WERE MUSIC, THIS WOULD BE THAT EPIC FULL-ORCHESTRA-FULL-VOLUME MOMENT.
***
But what really allowed me to see Jesus as “real, relevant, and enough for me and all of humanity”, what really changed my heart toward Jesus, was what happens in John 21.
***
If the Bible were music, I get the sense that the instruments drop out here until only simple notes on a flute caress our ears, when, in verses 9-10,
it says that Jesus had prepared a charcoal fire on the beach for His disciples who were out fishing.
Jesus had just fought the battle of Heaven and Hell and won, and came back to a small beach on one of many seas, on one of many planets that He just proved He has power over, to meet His friends, His brothers.
Imagine the strength and depth of these friendships, imagine the LOVE. Imagine the sense of belonging provided to the disciples in this act of intentionality from Jesus. They then ate breakfast together (fish which were just caught due to a miracle Jesus does at the same time) there surrounding that fire on the beach (verse 12). The fire crackling, the dawn surrounding them, Galilee’s sea washing ashore over the rocks the way waves are supposed to. And Jesus, the son of God, the pursuer of humanity, the ultimate sacrifice, the conquerer, our judge, our messiah, our saviour, but in that moment, more than all of that,
Jesus, My companion. My friend. My more than “enough”.
If the Bible were music, perhaps the flute has been a gentleman and offered the stage to the violin. And it would be a selection of sounds textured gently with a melody of a meaningfulness every human heart can understand.
Verse 25 concludes the gospel of John saying:
“And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.”
And here, if the Bible were music, there would be those few last notes on that beautiful, pure violin, and a gentle decrescendo to a silence saturated with holiness, power, awe, and love.
The love of Heaven’s Father, and Heaven’s son, for all of humanity.
For me.
For you.
For us.
For always.
Forever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
Love that is real.
Love that is relevant.
Love that is more than enough.
This story took place in Transnistria, and when I read that last verse in John I sat in reverence, in stillness, in wide-eyed thankfulness and understanding. And I decided that I would do anything for this Jesus. The man who died for me. The man who set me free. The man who did nothing wrong. The man who served humanity. The man who acted on His great love for us. The son of God from Heaven- epic, brave, the most powerful, but who also would come find me in my simple boat, simply catching fish, and invite me to sit with Him around a simple flame, to simply be with me, because He loves me.
What is more real than being loved?
What is more relevant than being loved?
It’s enough for me. It’s more than enough.
I love Him, but He showed me how.
