During our New Years Eve celebration, a little over a week ago, each person on my squad drew a small piece of paper from a bowl. Written on every piece of paper there was a word and a verse. The word signifies what we’re stepping into for the New Year. Of course, out of fifty-something words I draw “Discipline”.
This post is me living out my word for the New Year, and being disciplined enough to sit down and write a blog. It’s been months since I posted one. The first month of the race I decided not to use technology at all. It was great in the sense that I lived more in the present, but it also gave me an excuse not to blog, send updates, or respond to emails. Month two in Nicaragua slipped away and I didn’t write a single thing. I was too lost in the streets with my board and iPod. The last two months were the same story just different locations. My excuses: they take too long, I could be exploring, skating, meeting new people, experiencing new things, I’m too busy, or too tired. The truth: I’m afraid of putting my thoughts and feelings out there for people other than myself. And I realized that the idea of being fully known sort of terrifies me. I’ve still avoided blogging since we arrived in Vietnam, but I set a goal to get one done before I eat anything else today. And those of you who know me realize that food = incentive in my life.
Sooooo, this blog is to let my supporters know I’m still alive and share something I learned the first handful of months on the race. Being on the WR has been beautifully difficult. The Lord has used the last three or four months to teach me some pretty rad things. I’ve heard the beautiful stories of individuals who are vastly different from myself. I’ve been rudely awakened to the lifestyles of cultures outside of my own. I’ve stood awestruck at God’s creation as my eyes took in amazing views. I could sit here and tell you that the WR has made me into the most spiritual human ever. Or that it’s all cupcakes and lollipops and my faith grows immensely with each passing day. But that’s not the reality.
The biggest misconception I had coming onto this thing was that the change in my outer world would bring immediate growth and fulfillment to my inner self. That gave me a good slap in the face. If I so deeply desire intimacy with the Father, then I have to set my mind on Him. There is no scenic view, experience, song, hobby, person, or any other comfort from this world that can fill the void in my heart that is for Him and Him alone. This brought up some questions… What do I want from the race? What do I want to do with this life?
James 4:14 What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
I’m here on this earth for a brief time. What I decide to do with that time is entirely up to me. My man Gandalf said it best – “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us”. The time GOD has given us. I’m truly at peace with who I’m becoming and who the Lord is calling me to be. I’m working on discipline (I probably always will be) and managing my time. I realize that more moments in my day should consist of sitting alone in His presence. Often times I’m easily distracted, but ultimately I know that my time and every moment I’m alive belongs to my Heavenly Father.
What are you going to do with your time?
