March 9, 2019
I’ve been in Antigua, Guatemala for two days now. Arriving here was like a safe-haven in terms of living conditions, food, and so many other things. It’s also my third time here, so it is the most familiar place I’ve been in half a year. I was overjoyed to arrive! Antigua is a historical town, full of color and life. It has developed into a pretty popular tourist spot- there are fast food restaurants (even a Dunkin Donuts… mi favorita), western toilets, and hot water. We’re staying in a beautiful hostel with comfortable beds and good Wi-Fi for the next couple of weeks until after the Parent Vision Trip. I’m not camping in the jungle, I’m not taking bucket showers, I’m not deprived of coffee, and I’m not in the middle of nowhere anymore. Just like that, my life became what I first perceived as easy. I walked around Antigua, ate great food, and walked through stores with beautiful souvenirs.
I sat with the Lord this morning and read some scripture, I prayed and listened and the Lord reminded me of something- I’d just gone through about 3 travel days to get here from the other side of the world, and I hadn’t picked up my Bible once. I had hardly prayed or acknowledged him. With all the chaos of traveling and excitement of being in this great new place, I ended up going almost a week without really spending time with God. And I could tell I felt completely off. Of course there is grace in that, but I allowed the beauty of this place and the easiness of my new living conditions to pull my attention away from the one who GAVE those things beauty in the first place. Anything that has beauty on this earth is only a wince of a reflection of his.
I had to take a moment and repent and thank God for his grace. I had been finding my joy in the excitement and newness of this place, but paying little to no attention to my Papa. I felt as if God told me “Abigail, you’re missing me. I’m right here, right in your grasp, yet you’re lusting over the beauty of the things I’ve given to you. You’ve been in a nice place for two days and you’re already finding contentment and happiness in your circumstance and in this ’stuff.’ What I offer you is so much greater than this.”
Admiring beauty and being in a good place, a good circumstance, having nice things- none of it is wrong. It’s not like missing your quiet time for a few days is the end of the world and it doesn’t mean God looks at you any differently or loves you any less. It’s more about what we are missing out on.
Where is our joy coming from? At the end of a perfect day where everything went my way, I could still feel empty or like I was missing something. It’s because we’re designed to do life with God, to be with him. If my contentment comes from my circumstance, where the heck is my faith? One thing I learned in Swaziland is that most of the time material things only distract us and ultimately risk stealing our faith and joy. That’s so countercultural, so completely opposite of what the world (especially America) says; but the Swazis were the most joyful people I’ve ever met, and they have so little compared to us. I’m so thankful the Lord reminded me of this. I believe if he hadn’t, my experience over the next 3 months might be different.
Think about it: where is your joy coming from?
In America we’re smothered with distractions. Work, school, social media, church, friends, appointments, you name it. It’s thrown in our faces about every second of the day. The week that I spent without having any time with Jesus had me feeling so lost. It wasn’t guilt or shame, for the Lord never shames us. It was truly like I was missing him. The same way I’ve missed my best friends or my parents, except with more weight on my heart.
The Father wants our hearts, and he can’t have them if we’re not willing to give him some of our time. When your heart is full of his love you’ll realize that it’s not just “some” of our time that belongs to him- its all of it. There are people all over the world living below the poverty level who are so much richer than us. Spend some time with Jesus today 🙂 Let him fill you up. Live from a place of overflow, not striving.
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalm 37:4)
I HAVE A REQUEST!! I’d like to post a Q&A blog soon. If you have any questions for me about literally anything, comment them below and I’d be happy to answer!! They can be as simple or challenging as you’d like! Thanks my Loves!
