“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation…For God alone my soul waits in silence and quietly submits to Him, for my hope is from Him.” Psalm 62:1,5
It’s hard to believe this is only day 5 in Mongolia. So much has happened already. In just the few days we’ve been out on the field I’ve seen my teammates grow so much and have their eyes opened to so many things. It reminds me of the first part of my journey back to Christ, and I’m so happy to watch these amazing ladies learn more about themselves and about God. If this is all just happening in the first few days, I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen by the end of our 11 months together.
I’m the type of person who seeks to grow continuously. I’m not satisfied with being stagnant. For the last year and a half of my life, I have been constantly growing. It’s what I’ve gotten used to. And since being in Mongolia, I’ve tried stretching myself to gain more and more wisdom and knowledge or to have some amazing revelation about God or about myself, but it hasn’t happened. It’s been frustrating. I’ve been asking myself why I’ve seemed to hit some sudden wall. I expressed my need and desire to grow to our squad mentor, Tammy, and she asked me when my desire to grow turns into a desire to perform for others. She also spoke about resting in the Lord, and how we all need to take the time to rest in Him. It made me stop and think. Are my intentions for growth right? Am I solely looking to please God? Or am I looking to seem wise to others? Am I trying to please my desire for perfection?
Yesterday morning I announced that I am fully funded for this mission trip. I no longer have to fundraise. That weight has been lifted off my shoulders, freeing me of one less distraction. For the last few weeks, I’ve felt so much joy and happiness, and it hasn’t been because of any particular thing. I just am, and I can only thank God for that. Yesterday after I spent some time in God’s Word, I heard these three words, “Enjoy my abundance.” I was immediately washed with a feeling of tranquility, and I realized it was time for me to rest in God’s abundance and enjoy this sweet season of my life. Now’s the time to just enjoy His presence and bask in His glory and live in unending gratitude for this incredible opportunity He has laid before me.
