Coming to the decision of The World Race was not an easy decision for me. I’ve had multiple opportunities arise since graduating college. Through this process, I have learned that sometimes there’s a fork in the road and a decision to be made on which path to choose. But sometimes, there is a highly complicated highway interchange that has 20 different exits taking you north, south, east and west — based on your choice. I’ve known this interchange is coming for a few months now and have had a lot of anxiety on which route to take. I kept receiving a constant but small reminder that said, “Wait. Just drive. I will show you.”, but that didn’t tame the anxiety and fear alongside the uncertainty.
To be quite honest with you, The World Race was not my first option. I much rather have pursued my “dream job” in New York City, working for one of the only law firms that represents members of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community, during my gap year. Succeeded at my first LSAT attempt and been admitted to Columbia or NYU Law to pursue my Juris Doctorate the following year.
The door for this dream seemed like it was opening for me too, when the law firm I was pursuing contacted me, interviewed me and asked if I was able to come to New York in two weeks —which I was more than happy to do. I began LSAT prep and was confident in these next steps.
During these 2 weeks, I was unexpectedly in a lot of turmoil, I didn’t want to just do what I wanted to do but I also didn’t want to miss an opportunity at my “dream life”. Was God giving me multiple opportunities and allowing me to make my own decision? I set my own deadlines and was determined to make a decision as quick as possible. I kept feeling very frustrated that nothing was coming to fruition, until I came across someone who shared a similar struggle as me.
David. The King of Israel who also doubles as the King of Waiting… (I made up this nickname for him, it is not in the bible, please don’t cite me for heresy)
For those of you who might not know, David is one of the most powerful leaders in the bible. Referred to as a man after God’s own heart — David is often taught in the Church through all of his triumph, victory and Psalms, alongside his faith and relationship with God. One day though, I picked up a book called “David The Great: Deconstructing the Man After God’s Own Heart” by Mark Rutland and it completely shook my world (I highly recommend reading this —12/10). David was not just one of the largest biblical characters or just the boy who killed the giant in Veggie Tales – He was and is one of the most controversial leaders in history, yet God still called him a man after His own heart.
Not to overly indulge in the details (which the bible can explain much better than I), but basically David was anointed, by the prophet Samuel, as a small boy to become the next King of Israel and spent about 20 years waiting on the Lord for this prophecy to come to fulfillment. This really resonated with me because I feel like I’ve known where God was calling me and instead of waiting on the Lord, I was determined to make it happen myself. I saw a small crack where a door was beginning to open and I decided to kick it open and make it happen because I thought I was supposed to — big mistake — but also a great learning experience. I learned that forcing opportunities doesn’t really fly with God. If He wants it, He’ll make it happen and my “dream life” wasn’t ready for me yet, the World Race was.
David’s struggles, mistakes, and lowest points really came from his human, sin nature to make things happen without pressing into the Lord. Then why did God call him a man after His own heart? Well his story taught me that David had the ability and the humbleness to come back and seek forgiveness and guidance when he was wrong without trying to cover up his wrongdoings. He wanted to reveal where God wanted him to be and acknowledged his short comings, and God rewarded this. You see, God never called me, or us, to be perfect — He just asked me to rely on Him, to recognize my short comings and to seek His wisdom, forgiveness and His love when I fall short. And sometimes I feel like I have a habit of falling short, but I am learning to humble myself and seek Him through these trials.
Through these last few months I have known that a decision was impending and a time would come where I needed to have an answer. Remember that interchange I was talking about? Well it arrived and it was time to choose a route (no pun intended). Also remember the — “Wait. Just drive. I will show you”? Well, turns out he wasn’t lying — shocker.
During the few months of waiting, I really took time to pursue scriptural understanding, created a more consistent prayer life and continued to receive affirmation after affirmation that my “dream life” wasn’t where I needed to be right now. I needed to listen to God and serve him first. In fact these affirmations in the World Race have become so common, I basically needed God to give me reasons why I wasn’t going. But every excuse I had for why it wasn’t right for me, fell through. Everything I brought to God as a concern for why I wasn’t ready was quickly dismissed.
I learned through this process that I don’t need to give up what I am passionate about and what I feel called towards as a career, but first I have been asked to pursue the Lord, to listen and to go out into the world and serve others. Thus, I was lead to my proper exit on the interstate — right on time and not a minute sooner; I waited, I drove, I got here and I can’t wait for the journey.
