I am not enough.
This has been my struggle these last few months; really longer than that, my whole life. A fear that has held me back from more than I’d care to admit. A thought that has started to become so loud it almost sounds like truth. An insecurity that has caused me to think less of God and more of myself.
- I am not good enough to go on World Race.
- I am not good enough to lead bible studies.
- I am not a good enough friend.
- I am not a good enough Christian.
- I am not a good enough public speaker.
- I do not love enough.
- I do not forgive enough.
- I do not read my Bible enough.
- I do not pray enough.
- I am not selfless enough.
I know I’m not the only person that struggles with the long list of “not enough’s,” but I do fall so hard to being quick to point the finger at myself, set standards that weigh too heavy on my works and strength, and believe that my self-condemning thoughts come from God.
So, how do I overcome these self-condemning thoughts? How do I mute these ever so annoying “not enough’s” lurking over my head? What do I do when comparison seeps in? What if I’m really just not enough?
Almost always my initial response (which is so far wrong) is to lift myself up with a self-esteem boost or to fight back by looking to others for praise. These temporary means make me feel “enough” for a short time, just long enough to make it to the next “not enough.” But they always fail eventually leading back to where I started — contaminated by my own failure, insecurities, and condemnation.
The hard truth and reality is I AM NOT ENOUGH.
Seems strange to fight back with agreeing to the very problem, I am not enough, but he truth of God’s word highlights our inability and God’s sufficiency. We are not to just look at our shortcomings and failures and stop, but add “but God” to the end.
The Bible offers hope and deliverance from our “not good enough’s.”
- I’m no longer bound to my sin and death, but God graciously made me alive in him.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved” – Ephesians 2:4-5
- I’ll say it again, I am not good enough. But God goes beyond making me good enough, he looks at me blameless and righteous before him. Now forever freed from his condemnation.
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” – 2 Corinthians 5:21
“and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith” – Philippians 3:9
- We already established I am not good enough nor able to live the Christian life on my own effort, but by God’s grace I am given the ability to live by faith, not self-effort.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” – Galatians 2:20
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” – Romans 2:23-24
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” – 2 Corinthians 9:8
- I won’t be good at everything. There will always be people better than me at certain things. I’ll fail and mess up. But God created me just as I am, giving me certain gifts to joyfully serve him with.
“All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.” – 1 Corinthians 12:11
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” – Ephesians 2:10
What a privilege to find peace in the work of Christ rather than self-condemning and evaluating our own abilities!!!! It’s so exhausting to be so focused on my abilities, especially since God’s grace already gave me freedom from my works, strength, and self-condemnation.
Since being accepted to the World Race, I’ve had doubts of being good enough, strong enough, and just enough to abandon my “normal” life for 11 months for a lifestyle devoted to sharing the hope and love of Jesus with some of the darkest parts of the world. Please link arms with me in prayer against my thoughts of everything I’m not and my fears of “not being good enough,” and instead turn my eyes to all I am in Christ. Pray that I am reminded that I am not enough in myself but GOD IS ENOUGH.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
