I am a very independent person. Anyone who knows me, and has walked a portion of life with me, has probably been annoyed by this personality trait of mine. I want to do everything on my own, and in the past it has been at the cost of my health, honesty or an important relationship.
One of my dad’s favorite stories to tell from when I was little, is the story of my pouting-fest after my first day of Kindergarten. Dad found me in my room, bottom lip out, arms and legs crossed, as he asked, “How was your day at school, Taylor?” “Horrible,” I responded, “They didn’t teach me how to read.” Now this story would be awesome if I was an avid reader or book editor for a big publishing company, but I actually struggle to enjoy reading and find myself choosing any activity over sitting down to enjoy a book. But this story shows how even five year-old Taylor was upset because she couldn’t be as independent as she wanted to be.
Independence is not a negative trait. It is God-given. However, the independence I have exhibited walks a thin line, that gets me into trouble quite often. It has pushed away friends who simply want to take care of me. It has left me overwhelmed with a plate full of things I thought I once could handle on my own. It builds my pride and arrogance. And it is the lie that I choose to believe over putting my trust and digging roots into the love of Jesus Christ.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
This verse is a punch in the face every time I read it. No one likes to be weak. No one likes to have to lean on others. Independence is easy to hide behind to make others believe that we have it all together or that we are strong or that we don’t need anyone… Including a Savior. That’s where it gets scary. If I am not reminded of my weaknesses, shortcomings, and brokenness, then I have no need for Jesus.
So CUT IT OUT! YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE! Failing is good. Weakness is good. And dependence is not a negative trait. These remind us of our human nature and our need for Jesus! Our weakness is made beautiful in Christ’s sacrifice because where we fall, Jesus steps in. And because of Jesus, we will stand at the gates of heaven one day, dressed in the robe of righteousness BECAUSE we could not do it alone.
What does this mean for me in my current journey? It means that I need to be honest in saying: I cannot do this alone. I need prayers, financial support and love as I prepare for the journey that the World Race will bring.
I am choosing to leave behind the lie that I can do it all on my own. What lie do you need to leave behind?
