In the silence, And the hurt, That you have provided me, I have found wisdom. It is frustrating to not have the energy physically or emotionally to not even want to attempt to talk to people. I have been numb.
However in the numbness I feel, I have found what I say to be backed by wisdom. I never knew or even thought that I could be someone who was slow to speak and wise.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel anger about stuff back home, Or hurt from leaving Ukraine. What it means is I’m Done.
Dear Lord, I am done fighting the hurt, instead I will let it crash over me.
Dear Lord, I am done searching for the desire to speak with people, Instead I will sit in silence and listen for your wisdom.
Dear lord, I am done fighting, And searching, because i want to embrace it.
I want to embrace it because I would rather speak less and have wisdom, Than speak my mind and be a fool.
Eventually I may be able to do both, Speak my mind, And have my words backed by wisdom. However until I am sufficient in both. No!! Until I Master both Lord help me keep my mouth shut. Help me not speak unless it is filled with Wisdom and Love. Just like, What you have given me in this time of pain, Anger, And silence. Let me seek out this wisdom you have shown me I can walk with Lord.
So Dear Lord, I give up fighting, Instead I am seeking your Wisdom.
P.S. thank you for reading this blog. My last two blogs I poured out alot of my heart and raw emotions into them. Tomorrow is November 16th which is my birthday. One way you can bless me on this day is donate to my mission. I still need to raise another $4,000, So every dollar helps thank you for your love and continued support.
