A little over a month ago I asked friends and family to ask me any questions about the Race and I would answer them. Here I am, sitting in a little Zambian coffee shop, finally getting around to answering them and posting this blog. I truly apologize that it has taken me so long! Thank you for all the great questions! They truly helped me process some things and got me thinking about certain parts of the Race and what changes I’ve seen in my life.
What do you miss most about home?
There are so many things I miss about home! Right now though with the holidays I definitely am missing all my family holiday traditions. I miss holiday parades, decorating the Christmas tree, Thanksgiving dinner, Black Friday shopping, hearing Christmas music play in stores and so much more. Overall on the Race I’ve missed my family the most. I also miss small comforts like air conditioning, comfy couches, space to be alone, driving my car and fruit.
Best meal you’ve had?
This is such a hard question because everything has been so good, well aside from all the beans. Those are definitely my least favorite! All of our hosts have made some incredible food and it’s so hard to choose. A couple of my favorites have been friend chicken in Honduras, spaghetti in Panama, tacos in Costa Rica and chicken quesadillas in Nicaragua. All of these things sound pretty American and are some of my favorite foods back home which is probably why they’ve been some of my favorites. However each country has definitely put their own twist on them which makes them so much better than back home.
Something you’ve learned about yourself – perhaps a skill or trait you didn’t know you had and the situation in which you utilized and realized the ability?
I’ve learned so many things about myself. Things I haven’t wanted to learn and things I never thought I would learn. One thing I’ve learned is that I give too much of myself for the wrong intentions. A lot of what I do for other people is out of a desire to be loved or cared for in return, just as much as I love and care for others. It’s not something I’m proud of and is something that I’ve been trying to really work through. Looking at what my intentions are when helping people or giving them something and finding my true value and worth is the only one who can truly provide that for me. No one will every be able to love or care for me as the Lord does and I’m slowly starting to realize the magnitude of that.
Most frustrating/difficult/trying situation you’ve been in that you haven’t already shed light on?
The most difficult situation I’ve been in has definitely been living in community literally 24/7. After living on my own for nearly 4 years prior to the Race, I had become very accustomed to being alone and having my own space. That is definitely not my reality anymore on the Race. You’re living with 6 other people, sharing a bed, eating all your meals together, going everywhere together because you can never be alone, etc. Community living has been so incredibly rewarding and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, well almost every minute of it. It definitely comes with it’s challenges, especially when you’re an introvert like me who needs her alone time nearly every day.
Most rewarding situation you’ve experienced thus far?
The most rewarding thing for me has just been being a part of such an incredible community. It’s been extremely challenging yet I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve learned the importance of opening up and being vulnerable with my team. That is something I’ve always struggled with. Prior to coming on the race I rarely shared what was going on in my life or how I truly felt about certain things or struggles I was having. I was very used to doing life alone and kinda liked it that way. However, the race is not something you can go through alone. Physically there are constantly people around! The friendships I’ve made are unlike any I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve shared everything there is to know about me. The good, the bad, the ugly and I’ve never once been judged for it. It’s been an honor to walk alongside my teammates, be brought into their lives and journey through some of our most vulnerable moments and experiences together.
How many clothes do you actually pack and do you have to rewear stuff?
Do I have to rewear stuff? YES, YES, YES! I wish the answer was no but it’s definitely yes 🙂 Here’s what I started with at the beginning of the Race.
2 pairs of pants
1 pair of jeans
1 pair of leggings
1 pair of capris
1 pair of sweatpants
2 pairs of shorts
2 athletic shorts
1 pair of sweatpants
1 dress
1 skirt
1 tank top
1 long sleeve shirt
6 shirts
1 set of pjs
Swimsuit
Rain jacket
Fleece
I just started month 6 and here is what I have now. It’s definitely still too many clothes to have in my pack but I don’t know what I want to get rid of! I’ve picked up a few things along the way and dropped a few things as well.
2 pairs of pants
1 pair of sweatpants
1 pair of jeans
2 pairs of shorts
1 pair of athletic shorts
3 skirts (only because I’m currently in Africa)
1 dress
2 tank tops
5 shirts
1 cardigan
1 long sleeve shirt
1 set of pjs
Swimsuit
Rain jacket
Do you know what you’ll be doing in general in each country? And if so, what?
We usually get a Ministry Set Up Sheet sent to us a couple weeks before arriving in a new country. That gives us information on our host, what our living situation is going to be like and a basic description of what ministry will be like. My team(s) have done a variety of ministry over the course of the past 5 months. Children’s programs in the community and schools, door to door evangelism, visiting hospitals and nursing homes, painting, planting trees, building a playground, marketing projects, pregnancy centers, preaching in churches, bible distribution, visiting orphanages, cooking & cleaning, etc. I’m sure I’m missing quite a few things but that’s really a basic overview of the variety that there is on the Race.
How do you deal with all the emotions of all the changes, the goodbyes, the hellos, the travel etc?
That’s still something I’m learning. There have been months that have been hard to leave and others than were easy to leave. For awhile I wouldn’t let myself get too invested into the people we were living with or doing ministry with because I knew the goodbyes would be hard. But pretty early on I learned that that doesn’t work! The more invested I am and the more I try to build relationships the harder it is to leave. But then I know that I gave all of myself and all that I had to offer. You say a lot of prayers and shed a lot of tears. But then I get excited for what the next month holds and all the new amazing people I will be meeting.
As the months go on and as we call each new place home, it’s a quicker process. I find myself getting more comfortable more quickly and diving in much quicker. I think that’s just a byproduct of traveling so much and literally always being on the move. Not something I’m intentionally doing but something that just happens naturally.
If you could leave the Race now, would you? Why or why not?
As tempting as that would be, especially considering how difficult the past month or so has been, no I wouldn’t leave. I know the Lord called me on this journey for a reason and I don’t want to miss out on any second of it. It’s hard, it’s messy, it’s uncomfortable but it’s only for 11 months. Honestly that’s what I remind myself of a lot. God has done literally so much in my life and in my heart the past 5 months and I’m so anxious and excited to see what he’s going to do in the remaining 6 months.
What is your biggest blessing so far and your hardest accomplishment?
Biggest blessing would probably be all the people I’ve met along the way. The lessons they’ve taught me are some that I will never forget. Their ability and willingness to pour into my life for only 3-4 weeks is inspiring. I’ve felt so loved and cared for by total strangers who by the end of the month feel like family. It truly amazes me every single month!
Hardest accomplishment has probably been singing. I absolutely LOVE singing. It’s truly one of my favorite things to do. Sing in the car, in the shower, literally anywhere. Prior to the Race I lead worship for many years at my church. The church was very small and I got very comfortable singing there. I usually don’t like to be up in front of people and singing in front of them. So coming on the Race I didn’t really make it known that I could sing. That lasted all but about a month until someone heard me sing and then it was all over after that! Honduras is really when my teammates started pushing me to sing more. I didn’t want to at all. I was afraid of what everybody would think of me. I didn’t like being in front of so many people and being the “center of attention”. Well numerous times in Honduras my team convinced me to get up there and sing a song or lead parts of worship. I was so uncomfortable in the moment yet afterwards felt so much freedom. I know this is something the Lord is asking me to grow more in. I’ve realized truly how much a struggle with fear of man and what everybody around me thinks. The Lord has been asking me to step out of my comfort zone in this area and as terrifying as it’s been, it’s also been a beautiful process.
What change in yourself surprises you and why?
I’ve been really surprised at how open and vulnerable I’ve been with my teammates and squadmates. I’m the kind of person who tends to be very reserved and keep most of my thoughts to myself. I didn’t expect to be so open about my past and also current feelings and emotions. Sometimes I think it’s harder to be open about the things you’re currently walking through than things that have happened in your past. At least for me I typically find that harder. I surprise myself every day in the things I’m willing to share and how willing I am to let others in and speak into those ares of my life.
Who is your favorite squadmate?
Ozzy of course it’s you 🙂 Thanks for asking!
