Lord I want to remove the adulterous look from my face and the unfaithfulness from my heart. God, please strip me of every unclean thought, desire, want, and comfort. I have shown you disgrace by choosing to find comfort, shelter and reassurance in things not of you. I have chosen to feed my soul with food that satisfies my flesh. So God I pray that you block these paths. I know that only you can truly satisfy my soul. I want you to be my comfort. In times of trials and struggles I want to go to you to be fed and go to you to find peace. I want your sweet presence and your arms to be the place where I rest my head. The place where I feel complete. All good, beautiful, intimate things come from you alone. You are the one I give glory and honor to. I will not glorify man or the creation, but the creator alone. I will not give my heart away to man, but to you alone.
Restore my heart O God. Make it new, clean and pure. Shine light on it and remove the parts that I have let rot. Refine it God. I want to shine for you alone. Lord I am so weak and scared to be in the desert. But Lord I want to just be with you. Please speak to me Papa. Do not turn from me. I need you and I want you. I want to drink your water and eat your bread. I want to be fed by your spirit, the only true provider for the provision my life solely relies on. Turn my troubles into hope, into life.
Give me a new voice. A voice that sings of your greatness. A simple honest voice that projects joy. The joy that comes from being completely reliant on you. Completley fulfilled by your love.
I want to call you my husband, my groom. I want to see you as the only lover of my soul. I want to be intimate with you all day long. I want you to be the only man I look to, to be romanced. I want to honor you, serve you and submit myself, submit my life to you. You are worthy; you deserve my whole heart. You first created it, you first loved it and you are the only one who can love it fully and perfectly. I will submit to you, but I will no longer call you my master. For you are my lover. As my lover, you only give me good things. You will never leave me dry as long as I continue to seek you face and gaze into the eyes who know and love me. As long as I open my mouth to let the healing and refreshing water into my soul.
Restore my lips with your cleansing balm. I want only your name to be upon them. Your name is sweet honey upon my mouth. Any other name is like poison to my soul. God destroy the beasts who are trying to devour my heart. Abolish the weapons that are surrounding my soul waiting for the right moments to shoot and kill. Place me in your garden, with your beauty encompassing my body and touching every part of my being.
Marry me. Betroth me to you forever. Take my hand and let us become one. I want to be united with you in righteousness, justice, love and compassion. My heart is yours and I will strive to love you always. I will love with justice and compassion because it is righteous in your sight. Let us make a covenant to one another to always be faithful. I will strive to always trust.
My love, help me to be faithful and to trust and to rest only in your arms. Respond to my heart God. Plant my heart in your land. In your rich soil that produces life in the most simple and fulfilled form. Water me in my obedience and continue to show me your love in my moments of weakness. You are my God, my husband and my true love. I am your daughter created in your beauty, your bride, perfectly lovely in your sight and your dearly loved one.
I wrote this letter to the Lord while sitting in a bus on a 3 hour trip across Romania. Sibui, our destination, was one of the most beautiful places I have ventured in. The weather was perfectly ideal and the company of my team and some of our new friends from Pitesti was completely blessed. But the reason that day was extra amazing was because I felt the Spirit totally encompassing my heart and completely in sync with my every thought and with my every move.
 Usually when I write, I spend a lot of time meditating on my thoughts before I pour them out on paper, but that day was different. I put my green pen onto my journal page and a prayer from deep within my soul overflowed.
This is what God is doing in my heart! I wish I could put into words how amazing this God we serve is. He loves us exactly where we are. In the midst of all of our doubts and fears and laziness and stubborness, He loves us just the same. And that love is refining and transforming my heart. I no longer just want to love Him more, I do love Him more and it's all because He continues to love me through everything.
As many of you know it's my birthday very soon, (May 16th.) I will be turning 23! In honor of this day, the day that God created yours truly, my birthday wish is that you would honor the Lord…
My hope for the rest of this race, and for the rest of the time God has me here on this earth to serve Him, is to see His people and speak the Truth that Jesus is the lover of their soul into their lives. To bring hope to the hopeless. To bring peace to the striving. To bring love to broken. To bring healing to the wounded. To bring life to the dead.
If you would like to honor the Lord by seeing this dream of mine come true, then be apart of supporting me financially and continuing to lift my heart in pray. My next and final financial deadline is July 1st, and I currently need $2,132 more to be fully funded.
Thank you to all those who have and are supporting me. My life has been changed forever, and continues to grow closer to our good good Dad every moment I am on this crazy race. Your obediance and service to the Lord I do not take lightly and am greatly humbled and loved by you all. Thank you.
