We were driving away from our ministry site on our way to Antigua. I was sitting in the front seat of the 15 passenger van. As we were pulling out of the city both German (our Guatemalan ministry host) and I saw a man lying face down a few feet away from the sidewalk in the street. We stopped immediately and German and I got out of the van at the same time and went to this man’s aid. German rolled him over towards me and for a split second I thought he was dead. German sat the man up and I grabbed him from behind the armpits and we pulled him to the sidewalk and sat him up against a wall. I said “Dios de bendiga,” (God Bless you) and walked back to the van. As we were driving by, he waved and thanks to us and we went on our way.
Once I was in the car, I could feel the grime on my hands from the dirt that was on the sweater that the gentleman was wearing. I was reaching for the hand sanitizer in my bag, but then I stopped. I thought to myself, I want to feel this a little longer. To truly feel the dirt on my hands. The dirt on God’s children, whom He loves SO deeply. I realized in that moment, I do not want clean hands. I want dirt on my hands. The dirt being a symbol of the love of Christ. I want to go to those messy places with people so they may find freedom and go into the dark places of the world to reflect and shine Christ’s light.
Yes, a part of me is still afraid to go to those places myself. I’m afraid of what I’ll find. I’m afraid of what people will think- maybe they’ll call me crazy. I’m afraid that I don’t have what it takes or enough love in my heart to actually go there.
But I am reminded of a quote my raised up squad leader, Ashley, shared with me at the beginning of the month.
“There are higher heights & deeper depths
in prayer, and God wants to
take you there. He wants to take you
places you’ve never been before.
There are new dialects. There are new
dimensions. But if you want God to do something
new in your life, you can’t do the same
old thing. It will involve more sacrifice, but if you’re
willing to go there, you’ll realize that
you didn’t sacrifice anything at all. It will
involve more risk, but if you are willing to go there,
you’ll realize that you didn’t
risk anything at all.”
I don’t have it all together, but the One who lives inside of me does. Through Him I can accomplish anything. I want to do things that require Jesus to intervene. I want to live a life that is different. An Isaiah 58: 6-14 & Isaiah 61 kind of life. A Jesus type of life. I want to sacrifice whatever it takes to go to these places. I want to get in the trenches, get dirty, and love people through this life and come to the end/beginning and have the Father say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
After telling this story to Ashley, she drew this for me and I want to share it with you all.
Will you join me in radically loving and pursuing God’s children?
Thank you for your continued support!! In order to go to O-squads month seven debrief in Malaysia I need to raise $1,500 on top of my goal of $3,500 and this needs to be raised by the end of my time on the field with them- May 31st. So in total I need to raise $3,492. Please consider continuing to partner with me and tell your friends!
