The reasons to go travel around the world are numerous. It opens your eyes, you learn more about yourself and other people, it awakens your heart to a new sense of adventure, and need I mention the delicious food!?
One aspect of traveling that I especially love is seeing the amazing beauty the world beholds. So far, I’ve been to 5 countries. I had the opportunity to walk through the gorgeous jungles of Indonesia and swim in the waterfalls. In Thailand and Myanmar, I was captivated by the wonderful people and their culture. Within my short time in India, I visited one of the seven wonders of the world – the Taj Mahal (and I can say that it truly upholds its reputation). This past month in Nepal, my team and I were able to trek to remote villages in the mountains and watched the sunrise and sunset over the peaks of the most breathtaking mountain ranges (including the Himalayas).
Yet, this all pales in comparison to the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I’m going to attempt to describe to you one of my most cherished memories. To do so, I have to take you back to when I was just 12 years old.
One afternoon, my mom picked me up from school and took me to get ice cream (a smart attempt to soften the blow of the news she was about to give me). We were in the car, parked by the lake and enjoying our delicious ice cream when she told me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
I stopped enjoying my ice cream at that point as my mind tried to wrap around the reality of what this would actually mean. I remember my mom explaining that it was treatable and I shouldn’t be worried – she was in good hands. Out of her protection for me, she didn’t mention that the cancer was advanced into stage 3 and she would have to undergo surgery and chemotherapy right away.
Nothing could have prepared me for storm ahead. The storm of watching one of the most important people in my life suffer through the battle to survive and being helpless to do anything about it.
The following months were filled with hospital visits, doctor appointments, and chemo treatments. Still, my 12 year old heart couldn’t fully grasp what all was going on. Was my mom going to be okay? Is she going to die? Should I be worried even though people keep telling me not to be? Nothing seems to be okay right now.These were all thoughts that exhausted my young mind.
I can remember going into my mom’s room during the time she was sick and noticing huge clumps of hair on her pillow. The reality was getting a little more real now…
My mom is a hairdresser and has been for as long as I can remember. So during this time that she was loosing her hair, she decided to host an event called, “Cut for a Cure”. Hairdressers from around our small town gathered to provide free haircuts with the purpose of raising breast cancer awareness. It was so much fun! So many family, friends, and townspeople gathered in support of my mom, and everyone was having a blast with each other. However, I couldn’t wait for it to come to an end because my mom told my brother and I that we would get to shave her head as the finale!!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? What kid gets the opportunity to shave their mom’s head!? I could barely handle the anticipation and excitement!
Finally, the time that I had been not-so-patiently waiting for had come. My mom sat down in the chair as a crowd gathered around in support. My eyes immediately started searching for the razor. Unfortunately, my brother found them before I did. He told me he gets to go first because he’s the oldest.
DARN! This was definitely not a time where being the yougest in the family came to my benefit (when often times it did… Sorry not sorry, Ross haha).
My brother turned the razor on as I stood off to the side and watched. As the shaving of her head commenced, I felt a huge shift. I was no longer excited as I was a second ago. I found myself having to hold back tears – a big lump in my throat began to rise as I started crying.
Reality finally hit me.
My mom – the woman whom I love most in the world – is fighting for her life. She could die. This is serious. I was seeing with my eyes what my heart had been feeling all along…
Fear. I was overwhelmed with sadness and confused at how everyone around me had smiles on their faces and were laughing. I was alone.
I couldn’t stand there and watch it any longer. Instead of partaking in the cerimonious shaving, I walked away – I went into my room until it was over and everyone left. The reality was too much for me and I felt like no one understood.
The moment my mom walked into my room to check on me, I cried even more. Seeing her completely bald for the first time as a result of a life-threatening disease was too much. I’m almost crying now just thinking about it..
She consoled me. She held me in her loving arms as I cried to her how afraid I was at the possibility of loosing her. And she stayed there until I was finally able to calm down. After wiping all the snot and tears from my puffy face, we both went into the living room to relax after the long, emotional day that was just had. I was on the floor, she was on the couch.
Not far into the movie we were watching, I remember looking back to say something to her; and what my eyes beheld in that moment is something I’ll never forget.
My mom was fast asleep. Completely bald. No make-up. With her hospital mug of water laying right next to her. Her sheer beauty was captivating. It wasn’t the kind of beauty the world would define as beautiful. My 12 year old mind knew that much. It was the kind of beauty that sees someone in their most real and vulnerable state. A beauty that’s not hidden behind photoshop or hours and hours of trying to make themselves look like that of a model. A beauty that goes way beyond skin deep.
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was the most beautiful person. And still is to this day. My mom has been through so much and is the strongest person I know. Of course she has her moments of being down – she’s human, not a robot. But through all the pain she has experienced in her life, her heart has only grown more to love!
So mom, I know you’ll be reading this and I just want to tell you how much I love you. You are so beautiful. So strong. So kind and generous. Your heart to love people inspires me! I have learned so much by just being your daughter and watching you go through life. Thank you for always, always, always being there for me – through the worst of times and the best of them. Words can’t come close to express how much you mean to me. I thank God he gave you to me as a mother and friend!
Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you for fighting for me.
