As I lay here on my couch listening to worship music because it is the only thing right now that will ease my anxiety between all my to do lists, packing for the next 6 months and goodbyes. I sit and reflect on why I originally said yes to God’s call on my life. I just had Christmas with my family (in October) because I’ll be missing another Thanksgiving and Christmas away from them. I sit here feeling blessed beyond measure that I have people in my life that cherish shared experiences together just as much as I do. My family means more to me than I can put into words and this has been a big part of my journey with God over the past 2 years.
How do you surrender the things that you hold the closest to your heart with open hands?
Surrender has been something God highlighted to me back in month 1 of my original race. And I can say a year and a half later it has gotten a tiny bit easier. But it is something I have to choose everyday. Yes, choose. Each morning I may not get to choose my circumstance but what I do get to choose is whether or not I am going to cling to things of this world or hold tight to my Heavenly Father who gives me peace that transcends all understanding.
I’m tired of letting life happen to me and I now see that I have a choice to happen to life. We don’t belong to this world but some of us may never know that there is another way of living because of all the distractions and chaos of the world we live in.
I choose these words to live by
Luke 9: 23
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
I choose to love even when I know I may get hurt. I choose joy even in the suffering. I choose to leave my home for another 6 months because I know “obedience releases the Presence of God.” I choose to follow my Heavenly Father because He is the only thing that can satisfy my soul. I choose disciplines because they bring me freedom (took me awhile to learn that one too haha). I choose to deeply feel because I know it is a gift God has given me to empathize with others. I choose to walk in faith and not by sight. I choose to lead others into deeper healing and freedom because I have been renewed through healing and freedom. I choose to give freely just as I have been given freely. I choose to share the goodness of God each and everyday!
Thanks for taking time to hear my heart. I would love to invite you into this experience with me through prayer and donation. I am officially at 50% of my goal!! Whew, God is good! If you would like to partner with me I am looking for monthly and one time donors!!
Love you all mucho!
