This morning I woke up to flies in my bed, a spider on my wall, and seven new mosquito bites on my legs. My shoulders are sunburned and my hair smells like oatmeal. I have a face full of clogged pores and a head full of doubt that I am actually going to survive the next 80 days in this African sun.
This morning I woke up in a bed. The spider on my wall ate a handful of various creepy-crawlers while I slept. The closed windows in our room protect us from being eaten alive, though a few mosquitoes do slip in before we shut them for the night. My sunburn doesn’t hurt and I had a delicious bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. The sink in the bathroom allows me to wash my face every night, and my questions and doubts are countered by an overwhelming sense of peace that I was called to be here in this season.
We’ve been in Livingstone, Zambia, for exactly one week. Our ministry, Africa 4 Jesus, is a group of 20- to 30-somethings who are on fire for the nation of Zambia and the entire continent of Africa. The other day we went into a village in Livingstone to do door-to-door evangelism. Naturally, I was terrified, because most of my experiences with evangelism thus far on the race have been unsuccessful and embarrassing. Reluctantly, I put on my long skirt and grabbed my Bible, and prepared to go. I was paired with my sweet new friend, Mercy, who is on the A4J team here.
Mercy and I went out, through the uneven dirt roads woven with discarded trash and happy-faced kiddos, seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance. We came upon a woman sitting on her front step as a handful of children giggled at the white girl as she approached. We came around the fence and said hello.
We were invited in to sit with this woman – Chuma was her name – and got to talking. I sat down on her love-seat which was covered with printed fabric that said “I trust in Jesus because He changed my life.” She’s a believer, but hasn’t been for long. Her testimony gave insight into her wealthy, socially-centered history. Chuma used to be quite popular with her large group of friends. She had money, success, and earthly happiness. That is, until she met Jesus. Upon her salvation and restoration in Christ, she lost everything. She lost money and her friends were no longer interested. But she was satisfied because she had Jesus; she was redeemed. Chuma’s life is worth living because she knows that she is enough in Him. The faith of this woman was incredible and convicting to my selfish heart. I’ve been overwhelmed many times over the last week in missing home. Looking through old photos on my hard drive of my friends and I in Chicago, looking cute, not covered in mosquito bites, makes me sick. Many times I’ve told my teammate I want to go home. It’d be easier that way, right?
I’m sure Chuma thought it’d be easier to run away from Jesus and continue living for herself, too. But she didn’t, and neither am I.
I hate Africa. It’s taken me past my limit numerous times to the point of completely losing it over a messy living room three days ago. It pushes me to seek the positive in everything. It makes me strive for the faith of Esther. Africa challenges me to keep my mind sound and allow the Lord to carry the weight of anxiety that I’ve let burden myself for so long. I have always been an advocate of “don’t worry, be happy.” Worry is the child of fear and if we allow it to control us, our dreams will be slowly deconstructed until we find our futures barren. The key to minimizing your worry is to optimize your faith.
You are a city on a hill, not sand in the valley. Don’t let insects and sweat distract you from the purpose laid out for you in this season. I’m finding that those times when I have less than any desire to harness my joy, it is crucial to speak life and truth. David wrote an entire book of Psalms about praising God when you don’t necessarily want to. Job had everything but his life taken away from him and yet thanked the Lord even more. How can I sit here and complain about mosquito bites when my God is so mighty and sufficient?
A life following Jesus is guaranteed to be hard, but it’s promised to be worth it. Be bold in the knowledge that the Lord equips us as we go. He’s not going to leave you hanging in the middle of the African bush when you’re at your wits end from dehydration, heat exhaustion, and eight-legged intruders. There is a season for everything. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Hebrews 10:23
“I can’t wait to shave my armpits and wash my hair for my birthday.” – Morgan White #worldrace
