I applied and came on the Race thinking it wasn’t about me. In May of 2011, I wrote in my journal something to the effect of – “I’m tired of being lukewarm. I am giving you my whole life, for real this time. Whatever you would have me do, wherever you would have me go, whatever you have to put me through to get me to understand, I’m all in.”
Whenever I read the Bible, I felt the Lord nudging me and saying there was more he wanted me to do. I read:
“Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19), and
“Whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40), and
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24).
So, I assumed he was calling me to the Race because he wanted me to love some people who needed love and tell some people about Jesus. Seems like a good reason, right?
I read a blog of one of my squadmates (Amanda Kerr – Not What I Was Expecting) this morning about not doing bar ministry in Thailand this month (bar ministry involves fighting sex trafficking in the red light district). Most past squads have worked in Thailand’s red-light districts fighting sex trafficking and sex tourism. I felt a new passion for this type of ministry about a year before the Race, and I was sure God was going to have me doing bar ministry in Thailand. Based on the new passion from God, I thought I might have a future in this type of ministry. Amanda had a similar feeling and her expectations were shut down when we found out we would be doing something else this month.
But God spoke to her. And he used the same words to speak to me:
“You need ME more than they need you.”
If we were doing bar ministry this month, we would be so distracted by saving these girls and children trapped in this horrific industry that we would miss out on intimacy with our Father.
I had no idea that God secretly called me to the Race not as much for them as he did for ME. I feel selfish even saying that, but I’m starting to realize it’s true. Yes, I will be serving and loving people and I hope and believe God will use me to change lives along the way. But, I am beginning to believe that God is going to do more in me this year than I could ever imagine doing for anyone else.
Sometimes God has to call us somewhere before he tells us what we’re going to be doing or why. I came on the Race having no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that I felt called, and I had to obey.
I love this verse and memorized it last year, but I was confused as to why I liked it so much until now:
“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going” (Hebrews 11:8).
I have almost no idea how God got me to commit to the World Race and I still don’t know his plans for me this year, but I do know that I’m stepping into my inheritance as a daughter of the Most High God. I obeyed and went, even though I had no idea where I was going. I don’t know where God is taking me geographically or spiritually, but I am trusting His magnificent plans that are far above any of my expectations.
He is SO good.
And after two months of jam packed door-to-door gospel ministry and evangelism and worship services, I am so thankful that God is giving our team the gift of a break this month. I actually have some time to sit and think and bask in the glory of God, and I’m so thankful for that.
Ministry in Thailand so far:
We've been at our Thailand ministry location for a little over a week. So far we have painted a newly built church in a nearby village, done a prayer walk, and taught an English class. We will be teaching more English this week at a local school and whatever else we are told to do. This month, we are getting a lot of time to sit with God and pour into the other people on our team. This month of varied ministry along with down-time is such a blessing.
More details to come! Thanks for reading!
