If I had never experienced Jesus Christ for myself, like His tangible presence….I would just think the bible was just words on pages & church was just a show. I grew up in church, so it was what I knew. I was familiar with the Christian religion like most Pastors’ Kids, but I didn’t know Christ. I was legit vile. I did it allll….
I was at rock bottom and I was still saving face like I had it all together. I was “one of them”. See, going to church Friday Night, Saturday morning for evangelism, and Sunday morning and night for foot washing service, you learn how to look pretty on the outside and respond to the frequent “How are You?’s” with “Blessed and Highly favored and filled with the Holy Ghost”.. Lies.
I was committing the 7 Deadly sins on Saturday, plan B Sunday morning, and then back in church.. But then one day in college.. I just realize that like I NEED Jesus.. I was empty and like nothing was working to satisfy this intense dryness and huge void I felt. I knew it was Jesus I needed, but I honestly felt too far gone. I felt dirty and just unworthy of His Love. I had lost all innocence and I didn’t really want to come to grips with where I was, yet alone let Jesus know where I was as if He didn’t already see me. I would say my turning point happened with one walk to the altar, but it didn’t. The Lord knows how many times I walked to the altar in my lifetime and that was no longer a sacred thing to me. My turning point happened over a period of time. The hunger grew and the void was still there… But now it all came down to whether I was going to fill the void with my favorite sins or run to Jesus and be filled, restored, and set free. I would like to say I chose Jesus all the time, buttt I didn’t. I tried to walk the fence still.. Like I was trying to figure out what it would take for Jesus to get my attention like I had seen in others sooo many times before. I started to question whether I had a reprobate mind, was I possessed (seriously), whether I had forfeited my purpose, and did God still have need for me. My moment finally came at The University of Marylands’s Gethsemane Experience.. Now it has not been all peaches since then, Ive had dry seasons and just like any Christian I had to learn what it is to be a disciple… but man did Christ get my attention that day. So many people just like me..complete wrecks that needed fixing all gathered in one place to encounter the transforming power of Jesus Christ. #TestimonyTuesday
