This past week at debrief, in Romania, I encountered Jesus in a beautiful way. I am going to try my best to put words to what happened to me while I sat and prayed to God while sitting at the bottom of an empty swimming pool.
First, some background. The past few months I have had a hard time understanding God’s personal love for me. I was frustrated and I didn’t know how to come before my Father and ask Him to show me. I was confused in my worldly mind; and I thought that if God is all for His glory, then why does He want to work on me in an intimate sense? Now, don’t get me wrong, I still believed God loved me and sent Jesus to save the world because of His love, mercy, and grace. I was simply having a hard time connecting with my Father on a deep, personal level.
But that all started to change last month while I was in Swaziland. God placed our team on a beautiful mountain top overlooking a valley. I got spend time each day sitting on a rock, talking with God. I spent the month praying that He would reveal His intimate love for me again. Before the Race, this was something I thought I knew in my walk, but now God wanted to take me deeper and I didn’t know which direction to go.
By the end of the month, things were looking a lot better. There were many instances in Swaziland that undeniably had God’s hand all over them, demonstrating His love for me.
Then, while at debrief God took it to the next level.
One night at squad worship, I decided to sit in the empty pool and pray, rather than sing. Words began pouring out of my mouth like never before. I couldn’t stop the prayers from coming. I couldn’t stop the praise, and my heart was physically aching. The presence of God was so tangible all around me. As I sat there, I could feel Jesus sitting next to me. I knew His arm was around my shoulders cradling me while I wept for Him. He was simply holding me, letting me get it all out. His hands were resting on my cheeks, catching my tears before they could fall.
Then, He kneeled in front of me and took my face in His hands. He was telling me how beautiful I was, how divinely unique I was, and how much He loved me. Not the world, but how much He loved me.
Jesus kept telling me why He loved me, how much He loved me, and how even though He works on me in an intimate sense; He is still getting the glory. That’s how He gets glory, by glorifying Himself in me. Nothing good in me is apart from Him. All the light and goodness I possess is a gift from God. And as long as I seek to become more like Christ, and less like me, then that is glorifying the Lord.
You see, that’s all I want in this life. To glorify God. The longer I’ve been on the Race, the more I see that I am just His vessel, and my life’s work is to glorify my Creator.
With all that being said, God even went a bit further. So many desires have been on my heart lately, and God has been blessing each of them. I cannot understand why, but I know that my Father loves me so intimately that He chooses to love me by blessing me. He chooses to show His grand love for me by blessing me with the desires of my heart. God could’ve taught me a lesson of love the hard way, but He chose to teach me through blessings.
That’s the God we serve and adore–A Father who teaches His children about love by using blessings.
I pray today you take some time alone and allow God to drown you with His love and presence. May you see the beautiful lessons He teaches you, and the blessings that follow.
