Friendship has also been important to me. I’ve had so many but sadly have lost some. Perhaps many of us can relate. One thing I have learned in the short 18 years, 3 months, and 14 days I’ve been alive, for a relationship to last, friendship is hard work and sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference between when someone is sincere or not about your friendship.
Let me tell you a little story about my experience of insincere friendships, in the field of friendship. It started about a year ago when I met the small group of people. We were a part of this intensive week of worship and togetherness. I was new to the group, but they were all very welcoming. It felt good to be accepted into a group of friends. I mean, who doesn’t like being included; it feels good in the soul to know you belong! This group had known each other most their lives so at first, it felt a bit intimidating being the new girl to this circle of friends. But as we got to know each other, they all started telling me that it was like I have always been a part of their group even though we have never hung out before, and other kind and encouraging things to hear being the new person. As a result, I immediately felt close with this group of friends, and shared very intimate stories about myself because I trusted them.
Once we were all back home and returned to normal life, I would see this group once a week and whenever I showed up there was always an excited greeting from the them. They would see me, embrace me and call me over with an enthusiastic “ZOE!!!”. It made me feel special and loved. But as time went on, the greetings became less and less enthusiastic, to the point of no hellos at all. And as I hung out with them more, I noticed how their conversations were stories about their group that I was not a part of, from before they knew me. I’d send an invitation out to the group, and nobody would reply. Without fully understanding what was happening, months passed and I became less a part of this circle of friends. I wasn’t included in plans, and whenever I was, I wasn’t included in conversation.
It was disappointing to see how quickly things changed from our week of being so close-knit together and sharing intimate things to after we were returned to normal life. There were so many times I felt let down and hurt because I thought I found a sincere and solid group to be a part of, but it turned out to just be a few months of fun that seemed to run out.
I do not feel any more hurt from that experience but I have learned from it. I have learned that people don’t always mean what they say. Friendship takes work and it takes hard sincere conversations to keep it working. I’ve also learned some people don’t want to go through that and would much rather just walk away. Most of all, I have learned, no matter what, God is the most sincere and forever friend. He is my friend through the high times and low times. He celebrates my good moments and sticks by me in the hard ones. He doesn’t change his mind about me. He has walked me through some intense and hard friendship battles and I now know I can always count on Him.
So for those of you who have been hurt by insincere friendships or the loss of a good one, I want you to know that God is always there to be your forever friend when it feels like you have none. He will heal your heart from all the hurt that those people have caused. Tell Him how much it hurts because He wants to hear all about it. He is the first to stick by your side and loves to stay there forever and always.
