(First picture April 2014 second picture April 2017)
Three years ago, I went on my first retreat with the youth group and my life has not been the same since. Looking at where I was with God then and where I am with Him today is unbelievable. I truly do not know where I would be if I did not say yes to attending a weekend with a church I did not know, so thank you All Saints.
Let us go back to this weekend three years ago. My best friend Katie invited me to this fun weekend getaway with her. I was a sophomore in high school, drowning in school work and would basically do anything to leave all this stress for a day or two. Plus, I was looking forward to spending a whole weekend with my best friend. Long story short the weekend was fantastic and I had never had so much fun. However, this was not where I gave my life to Christ it was only the beginning. I was super shy at the time and if you know me now I know you are laughing because I am the most outgoing, loud person you will meet now. Anyways, I was glued to Katie. I did not want to talk to anyone other than her and had a small panic attack anytime anyone approached me.
Fast forward to a week ago to my first spring retreat as a leader. Yay, I am a leader now I am going to have so much fun I get to have my phone and do whatever I want, wrong. I had been looking forward to this weekend for so long. I have so many great young adult friends as leaders and the youth is where I find the true joy of the Lord. So, you could say I was pretty excited. Friday night my group gets there late and I find out my pastor was in the hospital with what they believe to be kidney stones. I was told this right before it was time to get the children to bed and we needed to keep a smile on our face and not worry anyone. My pastor is doing better now and made it through the weekend with us but as you can imagine this was not the way to start out my perfect weekend. Come Saturday pancakes are for breakfast and I am all pumped up for the day ahead. I had a perfect morning and nothing could possibly bring that down, right? Around lunch time my stomach starts to hurt but I figured maybe it was just me getting nervous for the zip line that I was about to go on for the first time ever! I know exciting! Sadly, I was still feeling kind of blah after the zip line. I did not at all want to miss out on anything else so I run to get any and all medicine that may fix me. I lasted through the rest of the games for the day but when worship time hit it all went downhill. I was running to the bathroom in between every song to get sick. I did not know what was going on and why it was happening. I finally just gave up and stayed in my cabin laying on the floor crying. Kayli came in to pray for me, it was a short prayer but it was everything I needed at that time. I realized yes, I wanted to be in there worshipping and praying for all my friends but I knew I could do all of that right there on the floor of my cabin. Our cabin was right next to the room they were playing worship in so I could hear it loudly. I sat up and began to pray. I prayed for each and every one in that room by name, I prayed for my brother, for my church, for even my dog. I mean I was on fire. I stood up and began singing all the songs. No I was not healed in that moment and my sickness did not all disappear but it was well with my soul. I was at peace with the fact I was not where I wanted to be. I was alone with God in the garden He had planted me three short years ago feeding it everything needed.
The point of this is I had been freaking out about how much I may or may not get sick while on the race. I would think about how I wouldn’t be able to minister while sick and how there would not be my mom there to rub my back while I cry. I completely told myself being sick in a third world country will be a good reason for me to just not go. Part of me is happy I got so sick on this Saturday night. I was able to see that I do not need to be well to praise the name of God. Yes, it is a whole lot better when you are fully heathy but being sick should never be the reason you give up. The lesson this weekend was “how uncomfortable are you willing to be for God?” I realized this weekend that I am so ready for the race and I do look forward to the uncomfortable situations I will be put in for the name of Jesus. I can promise you this will not the last time I will be laying on a bathroom floor praising the name of God and I think I am okay with that.
We are all given breath to breathe it is how we use it that matters.
