I’m never coming back
I must start by saying, I’m not tired anymore. The Lord has brought me rest in Him, He has provided me energy, passion, and perspective. He told me to wake up. I’m awake now.
Lately I’ve been thinking about what word I use most for the holy trinity. God the father who created me and loves me, Jesus the savior who robbed the grave showed us how to live our lives to follow Him, and Holy Spirit who lives in us and connects us to heaven. I’ve found that I call Him “Lord” the most. And my Lord has been showing me why.
A lord is a ruler, my Lord is THE ruler. He’s above and in charge of it all. We talk about this a lot, but sometimes we don’t grasp what it means for us. You have to obey the Lord. When you believe in Him and ask Him to be your Lord, that’s what you’re agreeing to. He’s not just a Holy helper that fixes our problems, or an image of hope, or an example to model our lives after. He is the LIVING God, ruler of our lives, and He speaks to us all the time. We know we hear it because Holy Spirit lives inside of our heart and soul and tugs and pulls on it.
It’s why poverty saddens us, injustice infuriates us, war worries us, and hate breaks us down. We know how we should treat each other, we know that we should give our best, we know that there is more meaning to life than serving ourselves. If you’re a human, you’ve felt these things. If you don’t have a relationship with God, I pray that you understand in your soul that He is behind that feeling you get. If you are a Christ follower, these things probably drive your life. At least they should.
The problem is, US. We get in our own way. It’s pretty hard, actually impossible without the Lord’s help, to not put ourself before these things. So I’ve been asking God to take me out of the equation. I’ve been praying this prayer, “Lord, help me remove the ways that I limit myself, so that you can be limitless in me and do limitless things through me.”
That means I’m asking Him to remove fear, pride, doubt, comparison, loneliness, lust, selfishness, my future plans, my emotions, my interests, my desires, my time, my passions, my life. Yes my literal life. I don’t want it if it isn’t the Lord’s. Every thought, word, action it’s all His.
So, I have to admit, I’ve always had an authority problem. If you’ve ever coached me, taught me, or led me in any way, you probably know that I’m a rebel and I like to buck systems, ignore rules, and do my own thing my own way. By the grace of God, the Lord has broken that in me. He gave me a time to reflect over my life and my faith. I got to see how hilariously catastrophically things went on my own plan, my own strength, and my own system. It lead to the darkest of darks, the most excruciating pains, and the hardest lessons. Fortunately, the Lord invited me to cut all that out and be faithfully and joyfully obedient to Him. I accept.
I’m buying in and selling out. That doesn’t mean I won’t be radical, creative, and question everything, but now I’m a slave to my Lord. His will is my “yes.” I’ve tried this in the past and said this before, but the stakes have changed. I spent my whole life and faith journey believing I should obey the Lord because I’m just supposed to. Then He reminded me how my “yes” has lead to changing hearts, breaking addictions, seeing the blind healed, the gospel of Christ being shared through a pimp translating for us to her prostitute, and a whole lot of Heaven on Earth. He reminded me that He wants me to obey Him because He loves me, His plans are way better than mine, His power is far greater than mine, and He wants me to be a useful vessel for overflowing His love unto the world.
While I was being unfaithful, doubtful, and selfish, God was still being faithful, loving, and even preforming miracles through me for His glory. If you’re not a believer, please send me a message and I’ll tell you some stories and truths of How alive and powerful my Lord is.
Everything has changed for me. I’ve accepted and agreed to give up everything, all that I am, all that I want, to see my Lord bring the Kingdom of Heaven to earth. I do this knowing that it will be difficult, uncomfortable, painful, and even heartbreaking at times. But it will also be unlimited joy, healing, love, restoration, hope, and life change because our God is good all the time! I would choose years of pain, heartbreak, struggle and discomfort over a lifetime of comfortable happiness because I know God will use it all for good.
Seeing the Kingdom of Heaven down on earth comes at a cost. I’m declaring now that I’m willing to pay whatever the cost. I will live a life of obedience to my Lord and I will walk in the authority and loving joy that comes from Holy Spirit living in me. I’m here to preach, teach, evangelize, speak prophecy, counter culture, inspire my generation, and love God and His children with my whole life. I will live only to reflect Christ and bring Heaven with me every step of the way in the name of Jesus. I’m going to live in the Kingdom now.
I’m never coming back.
At least not as the man you knew me to be. I don’t really look that much different, but you probably won’t recognize me. Or rather, I hope you will recognize me because I should look a lot more like Jesus. I’ll be a walking, talking version of a W.W.J.D. bracelet form the 90’s. So what would Jesus do? I’m going to ask Him every moment of every day, and In His name, I’m going to live my life showing you.
