Disclaimer: This blog was posted before it was ready. There were a few minor changes made to the blog.
My thought was while I sat on the floor resting watching a teammate of mine take down a bunk bed was why do I feel unrest right now and I was brought to the conclusion that I was finding my heart in the wrong places. You see I have a very servant minded heart so much so that it takes away from my community because I am pouring out not overflowing and choosing to rely on what I think I should do not what I actually want to do.
It’s not about anything else but God. Here I am in Honduras, with 5 other individuals who are so for me that I cant do anything but choose to love them well but I haven’t because I don’t have them as my community right now. So I have pushed them away and chose conflict over them because I haven’t put in the work to love them well. God wants to use them and me but it takes work and working hard at something is something I haven’t done in over 4 years.
Baseball: When I chose to leave for college and chose God over baseball. I didn’t realize what I was leaving behind. You see I took a friend to a game one summer after I started driving because I knew she had liked baseball in the past and I wanted to take her to her first game. My community at the game asked me if I was on a date and I said “no, if I were on a date I wouldn’t be sitting here with you guys” That’s when I stopped choosing community that wasn’t my parents because if you go somewhere with someone you should want them to experience it the way you do and the way I experience baseball is with people and talking baseball. If you want to learn more about how I made this discovery click here Here.
Running: When I run I connect to God through my body and it is freeing for me to run. I haven’t consistently ran for 4 years either and when I did run consistently my grades in school dropped so I chose to blame running in my head instead of processing the fact that my parents move to Colorado affected me more than I wanted it to. Running then was used as a coping mechanism for not dealing with the issue at hand. That’s when I stopped choosing running as a way for God to work.
The World Race: The World Race mission statement is “To empower the church to build Kingdom where ever we go through Intimacy, Community and Mission.” This is an extremely challenging thing to do and I have not done it well because of that past of being involved with others and because of that I haven’t worked as hard as I could have to get to the place I am today. In high School I had to quote my friend Steph “work hard, play hard mentality” where I then lost that was when I stopped trusting the Lord to be my shelter and my strength. We have a saying in K squad “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Well for the last four years of my life I have had a maybe in my spirit and I do not like that.
Over the last few days I have been journaling my heart out but not reading the Bible and being intimate with God until Tuesday when my teammate Dylan pointed me to 1 Thessalonians and when I opened it my squad leader Katie started singing 1 Thessalonians 4:3 and that is what my why is for coming on the World Race it reads “For this is the will of God, your sanctification…”
My definition of sanctification is the effort you put forth to be more like God through a heart after Christ, this effort makes you more like your true self in community where you were intended to be.
My why for my life is to know and grow in Christ no matter what the cost.
My previous why over the last 4 years of life was to serve Christ with everything I had.
David Platt at Urbana said “You can’t have a heart for mission without a heart for Christ.” Well I had exactly that.
I have a request of my Harbor and of my future teams and everyone back home. To quote my friend Missy “There are some things in life you can’t change” like I can’t change the fact that I have a disability called dyspraxia which affects how quickly thoughts move from my brain to my mouth but I can change how I voice those thoughts. I can’t change the fact that change is hard for me but I can make it feel a little more like home. I can’t change the fact that I don’t know how loud my voice is but I can choose to not call someone out for it when it they bother me with theirs. I won’t pick up on every social que but this doesn’t mean I won’t try. If I do start to project emotions please ask me when the last time I ran or really read the word was.
Please pray be praying for my team and unity as the body of Christ.
On top of this I am still in the Fundraising process so I would like to invite you into this process with me and help me finish what I started because that is the only way I know how to do things because of this I need to raise another $3,423 by the end of the month which is in 16 days.
The Math is each one of my subscribers donate $37.48 or if each one of my Facebook friends donate $4 I can get Fully Funded.
Also, I would love to include you guys in my next blog so ask me questions about the World Race.
