Why?
Why did God choose me to do something like this? How am I worthy to do anything for Him? I have messed up so many things in my life. Why me? Why any of us? Why would God use somebody like me to do this?
What is the purpose of my life? I do not deserve to be loved by Him and especially not allowed to serve Him. I am broken, confused, unworthy, ashamed, and discouraged. I do not know who or what I will be in a month let alone in a year, 5, or 10 years.
Why would Jesus step down from His throne to save me? Would I be willing to step down from what little status in life I have to save Him?
If I am being personally honest, I have no idea why He would want me to serve Him. I have no right to claim anything from Him. He saved me from my brokenness, my confusion, my unworthiness, my shame, and my discouragement, but what could I possibly do for Him that he hasn’t already done for me?
Why did You call me to be a missionary?
I am not a good speaker, I do not know what to tell people, and I have no idea what or who I am in You.
You didn’t call me to be a fluent speaker, to know what to say, or to know who I am. You called me to go, simply to step out from the crowd and to go. This is simply the next chapter of my life in You but the book is nowhere near close to being finished.
For this reason, I commit that although I do not know why you called me to go, I will faithfully go wherever Your presence calls me to go. The “Why” doesn’t matter. All that matters is that You died for me and for every single person on this planet. You laid down your life for me, willingly so that I might be saved in You.
I do not want to live in the status quo while You, Jesus, have called me to live for you in whatever means I can.
This is why I am a Missionary. This is why I am willing to go.
