As some or all of you might now I am in Romania for the month of October. I wasn’t sure if I was excited to change countries or not. This month is all squad month. So instead of it just being the six of us together, our entire squad of 38 is living together under one roof. As most of you know, I am not a person that likes to spend time with a bunch of people. So the thought of spending the entire month married to 37 other people didn’t sit too well with me. After spending a week and a half or so here it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I assumed there would be people in your face dawn to dusk and you would never be alone. Even as I sit in this room now writing this blog there is no one in eyesight. So I am able to get quite time and pray by myself just about everyday. It even gets quiet enough to hear yourself think at times.
One of the thoughts I have in my head was placed there by a man named Raul. Raul is the pastor of Hope Church. Hope Church is the local church here in Draganesti, the city we are living in(also there are no dragons here that I am aware of). Raul is also organizing all of the missionaries that are within a couple hours drive from here. Anyway, back to the thought in my head. He asked all of us “where is your Jerusalem?” He was referring to Nehemiah when Nehemiah was cupbearer to the king. Nehemiah overheard that the wall of Jerusalem was broken down and the gates were burned down so anyone could get in, so Jerusalem was unsafe. Nehemiah heard God’s call on his life to go and help rebuild the wall. The king was on Nehemiah’s side so that gave him a lot of resources to work with. Later in the book, they completed the wall and gates so that not a gap was left. Upon hearing this, all of Jerusalem’s enemies were afraid and knew that God had helped them rebuild the wall and that God was with them. So all of that to say the question on my mind has been what is God’s calling on my life?
Until recently, I can’t recall ever really giving to much of a thought about my future. But now I am really giving it thought. Am I supposed to go to school to be in the ministry? Am I supposed to come back home and continue the job I had before I left for the race? Or am I supposed to spend the rest of my life as a missionary overseas? So many questions running through my mind. I spend time each day praying for God to reveal to me where my life might go next. I suppose for the next 10 months it’s not so important. But for life after the race, it is paramount. I know that God will show me in His time what the plan for my life is and the one thing I know that I want to do is be obedient to that call.
That has been another major thought on my mind these last two months. Is obedience what is important to me? There have been times over the race where I have felt as if I wasn’t doing anything or getting anything accomplished. I was voicing this to my friend, Jake(one of our squad leaders who has done the race previously) and he said, “It’s not the results that count, it is if you are obedient.” That really struck me. I can honestly say most of my life has been about the results, not about getting there. John 15:14 says if you love me, you will keep my commandments. That was Jesus speaking and basically saying if you love me then you will obey me. So for me I know there are times that I know I am supposed to speak up and say something and I choose not to for whatever reason. But with this new thought in my head, I am trying to be obedient to anything and everything God calls me to. And as I was thinking of this, it came to me that why would God give me any big revelation if I am unwilling to obey God in the small things He gives me i.e. speaking up when He gives me words. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love always trusts. If I truly loved God then I would trust Him when He gives me words to say. If I don’t trust Him then He probably won’t keep giving me things if I won’t listen to the first thing He said. I guess you could say that you can’t take the stuff that you deem good and skip other parts that God has given you that you don’t like.
These are just some of the thoughts going through my head in my time here in Romania. I appreciate the prayers that you have been praying for me and ask that you continue to keep doing so. And please pray that I would see the opportunities that God is putting in front of me and that I would step up and be obedient. Pray for God to soften hearts as we go out and try to spread Him. Continue to check back as I am a blog posting machine! Thanks and God bless
