Ok so I know this is super late, but I’ve really been trying to take the time to process it to truly understand all that God was teaching me during our time at our first ministry site. This has been an ongoing process, but I think I am at a point where I can share the bits I have pieced together.
For three weeks we worked at an orphanage for kids with HIV/AIDS doing manual labor. I was honestly pumped because that is right up my alley on what I’m good at. I do manual labor back home all the time and to me it can actually be quite peaceful and enjoyable. I also like it because it makes me feel as if I have accomplished something and that I am making improvements. Once we got in to our tasks at the orphanage though, I did not find myself overly enthused with what we were doing. I went in ready to tackle whatever project they would throw at us and give it my best and it turns out, what they threw at us was more challenging mentally for me than it was physically.
Our first task was to sand the cafeteria tables to get rid of black mold that had been growing on them. I went in and tried to tackle this with my best efforts but it seemed that me and the rest of the team were coming up way short. Several hours in, we had made little to no progress because we were equipped with sandpaper that we jokingly say was equivalent to using copy paper. At the rate we were going, we would get maybe one table done each day and there were about 15 tables, so it would take us the whole three weeks to complete this one task. Later that day though we were able to explain to the maintenance guy that we needed a higher grade of sandpaper and he hooked us up! This changed the game drastically and “now we were cooking with peanut oil!” We were able to knock out about two tables in that final hour of work before it was time to clean up.
Every day we cleaned up at around 4 so we could play with the kids when they got back from school or got done with their activities for the younger ones not in school yet. This was a huge blessing as it helped keep us motivated to get through each day and have something to look forward to at the end of the day. It was so great to just be able to pour into these kids lives and love on them because these are kids that are typically neglected and abandoned by society, which is why they end up at orphanages. This is why it is so important to show them love and let them know that they are loved by us and by God. So one way God was teaching me was in how precious all lives are and how even though we each have different circumstances and upbringings, it’s crucial that everyone knows and feels loved. That is what we as Christians are called to do. We should never take the lives of others who come across our paths for granted because God loves each and every one of us and wants us to share that love with others. Let this be a challenge to whoever reads this to just find ways to love on those you cross paths with, whether it be a stranger or someone closer to you. Be willing and ready to love in the most unexpected ways and God will open the doors to life changing experiences.
Eventually we finished the tables and were able to move on to the next project…..which was painting the legs of the tables. So now things were beginning to get to me. I was so ready to be done with these tables and it was beginning to feel like we weren’t ever going to. When they told us we would be doing manual labor, I pictured us doing things that seemed a little more challenging in my head. I figured we would be doing more yard work and things like that, but we were stuck still on the tables. I felt as if they didn’t trust us and it made me feel incapable and somewhat useless. They had all these tasks that could be done that I knew I was fully capable of doing, but wasn’t given the opportunity to do. This is when it began to become mentally tough for me to want to continue as I didn’t feel that we were accomplishing much and that I had so much more to offer.
God was trying to teach me in that moment that even though it didn’t seem like much and I knew what I was capable of doing, that I needed to just be respectful and do whatever was asked of me. After all, I didn’t sign up for the Race to serve myself and bring glory to me, but to serve others and bring glory to God. This was a huge internal battle I was walking through and had to keep reminding myself of. It was tough to see the good we were accomplishing but I remembered something my dad had recently revealed to me about looking upon the positives that could come out of it instead of being dialed in on what I was currently seeing.
After two to three days we finally finished painting the tables. I was so ready to be done with this task. I know at this point it probably just sounds like I was complaining a lot and allergic to work, but that wasn’t the case. I did all the work assigned to us to best of my ability and tried to keep a positive attitude at all times. Most of this was just internal issues stemming from some pride that God was needing to cancel out. I believe God was walking me through these circumstances to teach me more about what it means to be selfless and humble. This meant pride had to go, but pride wanted to keep resurfacing every time a new scenario would pop up.
After we finished with the tables we were finally given a chance to do some yard work. They wanted us to weed eat and cut grass some. I quickly grabbed a weed eater because this was something I have a good bit of experience in, so I was happy to do something I knew I’d be good at. This was short lived though because about an hour in to it, I ended up hitting a water pipe which bursted. The maintenance guy came over and basically told us that was a wrap for the day. This really ate me up inside…. again because of pride. I knew that I was good at weed eating and this mistake was killing me. It was easy for me to play the blame game because of things I chose to blame like the grass being super tall, the weed eaters having metal blades instead of string, and of course blaming the maintenance guy for how he was trying to instruct me to swing the weed eater in a way that was not normal compared to back home. Even though I felt like these things lead to the incident and it could have possibly been prevented, at the end of the day it was still me that broke the pipe. God was trying to teach me to quit blaming and just take ownership in the mistake I had made and not beat myself up over it, but rather show myself grace.
It probably goes without saying that we didn’t get to do yard work after that incident though. So what task did they put us on next? Next, we were tasked with painting the entire playground. I know that seems a little better from the outside looking in because we were moving on to a new project, but spirits were still low for me and the team as we knew this just meant more sanding and painting and it still felt to me as if they didn’t trust us.
It was our final week at the orphanage and we had a blessing in disguise show up. This school group from Australia was there to pitch in and help with the orphanage, which seemed cool. I thought it would be cool to work alongside them, but quickly began to feel as if there was a division between our groups. We were stuck working on the playground, while the Australians were able to do all sorts of yard work and construction projects. This just continued to fester the internal things I was going through. The first week the orphanage had told us we couldn’t do much because they had no insurance and didn’t want us to get hurt, but yet those rules didn’t apply to the Australians who we discovered were younger than us. I was so bitter towards the situation at first and that we were still doing the more menial projects. I’m sure you’re wondering how this was actually a blessing though.
What I had not realized, I quickly discovered. On the second day the Australians were there, some of our group were able to share testimonies because the orphanage has a worship service every Tuesday and a time for people to share their story. CJ, Tikki, and Will shared their testimonies with the orphanage staff and the Australians. After we finished there was still time and the director asked if any of the Australians wanted to share. They stayed pretty silent but their two leaders ended up sharing. Afterwards we discovered that most of them actually weren’t even Christians. I thought that maybe they were just shy to share their testimonies since they were still in high school. We had just assumed that since they went to a Christian school in Australia and that they were helping with this ministry that they were Christians. We also discovered that they were able to do more because the school actually has a long lasting relationship with helping this orphanage. This opened my eyes so wide as I had previously been so bitter about the situation.
It was so cool how even though I was hiding anger towards them and the situation, that God was able to flip it around and turn it into something good. Now it felt like I had more purpose to what I was doing there. I don’t mean to downplay the time spent working at the orphanage or playing with the kids because there was so much good that came out of that as well. But it was different with the Australians showing up because these were kids that could understand English better and could also relate to us more since they were in high school and we were still fresh out of high school. I knew this was a chance God was giving me to redeem my previous behaviors and remember yet again that He calls us to love all His people regardless of who they are or the circumstances. Throughout the rest of the week, we just did our best to love on the Australians well and be their friends. We wanted to set a good Christian example for them and honestly for ourselves as a reminder of what God expects of us. This was a chance for me and the team to step up and to call us higher to something bigger than ourselves. At the end we were able to say that we built friendships with them by learning more about their culture, playing soccer, and just being intentional with them.
We finished our three weeks of ministry and said all our bittersweet goodbyes to the Australians, the staff, and to all the kids that hold a special place in my heart. In the end we were able to give them clean tables to eat on and a freshly painted, non-rusty playground to play on. During that time it might not have seemed like we accomplished much, but I now see how much was actually accomplished. Not only did we help out with some tasks, but we helped take some weight off of the staff. We also helped in loving the kids and the Australians. Most of all we helped in bringing Kingdom. God accomplished so much internally in me as well my team too that will continue to go with us throughout this Race.
I can definitely say this is right where God wanted me and where I needed to be, so continue to pray for me along this journey. I hope that this wasn’t too long to read and hopefully you don’t think less of me. I just thought I would take this time to be vulnerable and share how life has truly been for me and what God has been walking me through. Hopefully it didn’t sound too bad. Anyways thank you all for reading and thank you to all who support me prayerfully and financially. I currently have just over $11,000 raised through God’s power to move through y’all, but I still need to have $15,800 by January 15th to be fully funded. Please continue keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue to grow in my walk with God and faithfully serve Him. Y’all are awesome!!!
