Dear Ishinomaki, Japan how you have done a number on me!
We are sitting at one week exactly here in this city, but my God, how much have I been met with in a single week? Let me tell you a bit about that!
They weren’t lying when they said that going on the World Race was like a pressure cooker. We go through so many different emotions, situations, and conflicts every day. You know, you’d think after 24 years of living on this planet you’d have pretty much figured yourself out by now right? Ha, negative ghost rider. I’ve had to learn about myself in a whole new way in parts of me that I’ve never even thought about. Largely, the greatest thing I’ve had to battle was my own thoughts about myself. Apparently, I had some things I would constantly shove down rather than actually handle. Well, let’s just say living in 24/7 community doesn’t let you exactly do that at all.
First off, let me say I’m an introvert and have always had my space when I needed it. It was as simple as walk away and do your thing. Not so easy anymore. I think it was day 3 or 4 here and I hit rock bottom. I had exhausted myself of all energy, emotion, and desire for any community. Still I shoved it down and tried to hide it. Then came emotions of anger, judgemental feelings, and just wanting to be away from everything. I know that isn’t me at all and I was so confused at why I was feeling this way.
It took me two to three days but I realized that I had been pushing myself to the max socially and just kept going and I fell hardcore like never before. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but an important lesson I’ve had to learn about myself. I NEED time to rest and have time to be alone with Jesus, just me and Him.
Yeah, I just felt like a phoenix that just rose from the ashes when I came from that place of rest. A couple minutes here and there just didn’t cut it anymore. I needed a day of sitting with Jesus and talking about life. No distractions, no agenda, nothing but to hang out with my creator, my Dad, and the redeemer of my soul. Sure, if you don’t do that often it’s awkward at first, but when you get past that and really learn to sit in His presence and truly dwell in Him that’s where your rest comes from.
I’m so grateful that I’ve learned this lesson at the beginning and not halfway through this journey. For me, it was learning about myself, how I work at my best in community, and how drastically important it is learning to spend time with Jesus outside of a church service. Two hours a week makes for a pretty cruddy relationship with anyone. Don’t let the most important relationship in life become like that! It’s me and Jesus, the rest of life is a bonus. Don’t let Him become your sideshow, He’s the spotlight so keep Him there!
Colossians 3:1-2 states, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above not on earthly things.”
This life is nothing if not a pure joy to walk with Jesus emphatically in love and with that purpose as the driving factor for everything I do!
