Being on the race has shown me how important having a father figure is. I have been in many different countries and have seen the same things in many of them. I have seen countless broken families because fathers are not being men. These fathers are afraid to face the reality that is in front of them. They either leave their families, because they don’t want to have the responsibility of providing for a family, or they spend all of their time providing financially that they do not really act like part of the family.
The jump from Colombia to Japan has given me two very unique views on the extreme ends of the spectrum.
The common theme in Colombia was that there wasn’t a father. The guys would get the girls pregnant and then run. Many of them were only around 16 years old and didn’t want to have to provide for the families. This means that these kids would have only a mom to take care of them and provide for them. In the area we were in, it wasn’t common that the mom could provide. This often meant that the young boys and girls were out fending for themselves at a young age. Because of the lack of provision and love, they were confused on their identity. Many of the girls would get into prostitution by 10 to feel some kind of love from a man. The boys would join gangs and try and find their identity in them by stealing and doing drugs.
Japan couldn’t look more different, but there are still similar results. In Japan the father’s job always comes first. It is a common thing for fathers to travel to a different city for work and only come home for a weekend every month. The men are completely controlled by their jobs/careers. Whatever their boss says they have to do, whether it is go get drunk with him, go to a prostitution house, or work through the night. They have to do what the boss says or they will lose their job. With the job always coming first, these fathers are solely financial providers and are in essence not part of the family. Even though children in these families are provided for financially they still struggle with many of the same things. They are confused on their identities. The girls get into prostitution to feel something from a guy and the boys follow their father’s path, because they are often not shown a different example. But it doesn’t end there. The wives are often left not feeling love from their husbands. Unfortunately an industry has been created to solve that problem. It is called a boyfriend service. It isn’t a male prostitution service, but women will pay money to have a boyfriend. They will go on dates with him and feel loved through the interaction.
In both extremes the children are struggling with feeling anything other than being lost. They spend all their time seeking out a place to be loved because they are lacking it. They go through life not knowing their identity because they never found it in the Man that should have been the head of the family. This causes both brokenness and destruction within these families. It causes both young boys and girls to lose their virginity at a young age to feel something. For women it is a place for them to feel loved by a man and for the young guys it is a place for them to feel like a man. It leads into prostitution and living in the moment. It leads to instant gratification so that there are feelings instead of emptiness.
Not all families are like this. The families that aren’t often have one major similarity. They have a Man at the head of the family.
What does it mean to be a Man? More importantly, what does it mean to be a Man of God? To me, it means that I am in constant connection with the Father of creation. I am always learning and always growing. I am experiencing Godly love and showing it in my life.
It means
Being a man of my word.
Putting my family first.
Being willing to go out of my way to help someone in need.
Putting my selfish desires aside to do what is best for the people that are around me.
Showing love and grace, because God has taught me how to show love and grace.
Making sacrifices
Being reliable.
Being the strong shoulder to lean on when others are struggling.
Standing up for my family.
The families that have children confident of their identities have Men leading them with many of the previous qualities. Fathers have an incredible impact on their families. It can be positive or incredibly destructive. The choice is up to each man.
