A slight taste of fatherhood
For over a week I debated wether or not I was going to do nursery ministry. Why would a teenage guy, spend his time with little toddlers screaming their heads off, and drooling babies who cant even walk. Well I did it, and it was the like nothing I’ve ever done before.
Im pretty ok with young kids so the toddlers, I could manage, I thought. The fact that a human being can laugh, cry, scream, throw, and pout within a 5 minute time period is almost impressive. Almost impressive. They absolutely drive me crazy, but I love them. There so full of life and energy, in a life that most would consider terrible. Dropped off by there parents who could or wouldn’t support them. But every day is a new day, a new adventure, a new day to love and cherish. There in the moment and love every moment there in. Who would have thought you could see God in 2 year olds. They don’t know a ton of english, but they do know one word, “up”, and up they go. Lifting them into the air and getting that laugh that only God could have created, its rejuvenating.
I was extremely nervous about dealing with babies, I mean i hadn’t even held a baby before. They always seemed like little aliens that i would probably brake. I could never understand the connecting that girls get when they hold babies. How could you love something that isn’t even yours? I had so many questions and doubts that made me very self conscious and nervous. I told myself lets get this over, ill hate it. Then I was handed James. It was the first time that I actually couldn’t comprehend what I was feeling. It was staring into Gods creation with just an awestruck amazement. I loved this baby, and he was mine today. I held him for over an hour, fed him, and rocked him to sleep. During that time another member of my squad wanted to hold him, to which i reluctantly agreed. The second i gave him away he cried, and the second she gave him back to me, he stopped. It was such a powerful experience.
The hardest thing I’ve had to do on this trip without a doubt was putting sweet little James back into his crib. I had to leave him and it broke me. I understand this trip will be filled with those sad, disappointing moments, but its Gods incredible way of showing me his love, and preparing me for the rest of my life. I love it. How much ill learn and have learned, God is good and his creation is good. James was just the first door of many God has yet to open. But realizing how exciting fatherhood will be makes me very excited. Im nowhere near that time, but it was cool God allowed me to be an honorary father for a day.
God bless, stay safe.
