This Place.
To start, it’s been a while since you last heard from me but I assure you I am alive and well! I am sorry that I am posting so late into my time being here.
Nevertheless, I am in Thailand and it is by far the most intriguing land of people and place I have been apart of. Comparison has crept up to me often when looking back to Guatemala. Here in Thailand, there is no great supply of street dogs nor the boisterous voice of the Chicken bus drivers. The pitter patter of fresh corn tortillas being made, streetside “paccas” or house-run thrift stores, the long rolling backdrop of mountainous volcanoes, and most importantly; the abundance of churches which are all foreign to this Asian culture. It’s hard at times to reconcile these to two places to each other. The people look and feel so different. However, in my experience of two weeks the true character of Thailand has yet to reveal itself to me.
Our ministry is located one hour north of Chiang Mai in Chang dau. It possesses a group of small business and large retailers that stretches along its busy road. Similar to Guatemala, it lays at the bottom of jagged mountain ranges that supply a feeling of community and humility. We are still so small and as I travel more and more, I’m dwarfed to what He has created. Nearby are natural hot springs that have supplied many baths in the past weeks. The sudden jump from the hot tubs to the nearby river always remind me of the summers in Nantahala, NC. Ice cold, refreshing water. But even this slight reminder of home doesn’t compare to all that is becoming home here.
Just like Guatemala, the people here are finding their way under my skin. We have the privilege of living with Aaron and Wantia, who take of the fourteen children that live at Fountain of Hope. When we arrived on the first day I was, from a close distance, watched at by all the children ranging from ages seven to seventeen. But by the end of the night, the little girls were holding my hand and creating relationship right through the language barrier. The older boys picked guitars while the older girls prepared dinner with Wantia. All I have to say about Wanita’s cooking is that I won’t ever regret traveling back to taste her hand-prepared breakfast, lunch, and dinners. So, what are we exactly doing at the orphanage?
Well after breakfast at 6:30 we head to manual labor at the future home of Fountain of Hope. We are de-rooting “bamboo root clumps”, trees’ roots, digging trenches, and carrying cinder block, all with the help of a couple pickaxes, machetes, and hatchets. Wanita meets us for lunch at 12:00 and by 1:30 we are back to work. At 3:30, we head back to Fountain of Hope to either spend time with the kids, grab stuff to bathe at the host springs, or shower there. Fun fact for all aspiring minimalist, Thailand saves room by locating their shower inside their bathrooms. Yes, everything can be done in the bathroom believe it…or not. After all the tickle fights, cops and robbers, endless games of tag, and everything else in between, we find our places at the table or floor for dinner at 6:30. From that point on, we share tea with Aaron, occasionally worship, and head to bed early. Late nights rarely find us here in Thailand to say the least.
That said, the value and constraint of time has revealed to me something that has become a new constant in my heart. An ache for God. Even in the mornings that I read the word and sit down with Him, I can’t shake it away from my day. I am relieved to feel this and understand slowly that reading or slivers of time with the Holy Spirit won’t cut it. It reveals to me a newfound growth that has produced a new sense of self-awareness I am thankful for.
When I arrived in Thailand, one of the biggest cultural differences were shoes. Since it is predominantly Buddhist, the head is the most holy part of the body while the foot is the lowliest. It’s an indecent act to wear shoes into houses and even some businesses. In my mind sparked the similarity this carries with our own house. My body as a temple to the Holy Spirit. If I am intimate with Him and hold to a regard my body and its innermost parts as sacred, then I will not only set parameters but place value on what enters into it. Rendering each extra bite of food, scroll on a page, and song as either worthy or unworthy to abide with the Holy Spirit in me. This imagery was tough for me to swallow but as I looked in the scripture to see any correlation I found Matthew 15. In verses 11-15 it says,
“11 it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” 12 Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” 13 He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. 14 Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” 15 But Peter said to him, “Explain the parable to us.” 16 And he said, “Are you also still without understanding? 17 Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? 18 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 20 These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”
Specifically here, Jesus is talking about the deceit of the Pharisees and their physical orthodoxy compared to their internal impurities. Jesus later talks of the “eye gate.” What the eyes see can perceive and therefore allow in directly correlates to the internal darkness (Luke 11:34). If our perception is blurry or we simply have our eyes closed, then the darkness within us is left to remain unbridled. But when our vision is clear and we soak up the light that shines so brilliantly from God and His Word, light proceeds. So, the light that is in us HAS to affect the heart that is in us. Without the light, we are left as a blind people following the perverted, murderous, adulterous, selfish, prideful, lying heart that rests within man.
Arriving at this point, it may seem helpless that man is inherently evil and is found guilty under the law of God (Romans 7:21-24). Paul cry’s
V24“Wretched man I am? Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
But
V25 “Thanks be to God through Christ Jesus our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”
JESUS CHRIST HAS US. He was crucified, bearing our sin and shame, and then ROSE bringing our dead bodies and unregenerate hearts with Him. Thanks be to God. The gift of the Holy Spirit works in me every day to teach this heart of flesh to beat through light. To be inscribed with the Word of light on my heart. So, that feeling of ache that has followed me here in Thailand comes from the need for light. It comes from the need for His Word, His prescience, His compassionate love in conversation. I am still learning here how to open all of my life to others and even to the Lord. But when I am listen to the Spirit that resides inside my body, there is the fulfillment that I long for. When I move through Him, then I can glorify Him. The aching in this case will no longer be for Him, but for those without Him.
“God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him”
John Piper
